All Things Heather

Adios and Ogee...

We are leaving on our trip tomorrow.  I'm feeling the slight on set of panic about last minute packing.  It's hard to pack for a month, trying to figure out what I'm going to need versus what I really want to bring versus what I should bring.  Normal questions like - kid's bikes vs. my sewing machine.  5 knitting projects vs. books and crafts. Food for the dog vs. more yarn.  Very tough questions indeed.  

In the meantime let me present to you -

Ogee Tunic from Knitting Nature

Needles and Yarn - Filtura di Crosa Zara on size 5 needles  

Modifications - I changed the shaping from a not so flattering on me a-line to more traditional "girly shaping."  I cast on based on the pattern schematics - size small to begin with which gave me 41 inches at the hemline, did waist shaping and then increased to the medium size to fit my bust line.  I should have probably cast on for the medium size but I didn't want it to flare out too much at the bottom, I could probably block another inch or 2 out of it.  I added 2 inches of length so it didn't look like a crop top. I was going for 3/4 inch sleeves which ended up being a bit longer, I kind of like them though.  All in all I like the pattern, I think the neckline is flattering for my body type. The set in sleeves were in a pain in the ass to seam but it wasn't too bad after it was all done. 

 

Adios for now and I'll check back in later this week. 

Smorgasbord of thank yous...

After all the amazing cards and get well gifts that Makenna has received over the past week, I'm pretty sure she is plotting her next injury.  I'm not sure what the etiquette is for get well presents so I figured I'd just do it the modern Internet way and say THANK YOU!!!!!  I've tried to send an e-mail to those we received gifts from but a couple addresses were lost. If you have not heard from me then I apologize and let me tell you that your thoughts were very much appreciated! 

She is doing remarkably well and is pretty much back to her normal stubborn self.  Although her shoulder is still technically broken, and will be for some time, it's apparently healing because she has nearly full range of motion and only seems to complain of pain when I tell her she needs to pick up her crap.   I wish they could bottle that, the healing power of young children, I get a bruise and it stays for weeks, she gets her whole shoulder smashed in and it gets better in days.  I'm just grateful that things turned out as well as they did, it could have been much worse and her speedy recovery has really helped me lose most of my mommy guilt.

I'm busy packing for our summer hiatus to Washington State.  We are leaving on Sunday for a road trip that will end with a month long stay with my parents.  Tom is deploying again through October and I don't feel like sitting around here for the entire time he is gone trying to find ways to keep the girls entertained without spending money.  I figured a nice long stay in the Pacific Northwest would clear some of the boredom. At the very least, I can spend some quality time with actual trees and greenness.  Packing is a bear though and I pretty much want to bring every crafting thing I own, including my sewing machines, my sewing stuff, and all my yarn.  We don't have too much room, with the 90 lb dog and the 2 kids, so I'll have to compromise.

On the knitting front my Ogee Tunic is about done and is just waiting to be sewn together.  It seems that seaming sucks. I actually used to like seaming, not so much anymore. I'm not sure why I just didn't knit the thing in the round. Granted, I do hate sewing set in sleeves so maybe I figured it would be easier to just do it flat.  I haven't tried it on but I think it will be a good fit!

Bags, bags, and more bags...

Let's talk about bags, fun fabric bags, but not the kind under my eyes.  The kind under my eyes are definitely not worth talking about, even though they are huge and black, and would probably put me on the cover of some gossip rag if I were famous.  The kind that no amount of cover-up would hide even if I choose to wear it.  I'm proud of my bags, they are my battle scars, proof that I'm human and a Mama.   

The other bags are a bit cuter and fortunately do not resemble gaping black holes.  The paint shop teacher at school asked if I could make some bags for her granddaughter, I agreed, once gain not realizing what I was really agreeing too. She went on holiday and came back with enough fabric to make 10 bags, I settled on three.  Luckily I was able to get these done before the disaster hit. I wasn't able to put on all the finishing touches but they look well enough for me.  She loves them and I'm sure her granddaughter will too and that is all that matters.

The first is a darling messenger bag, it's kid sized but should be ample enough to hold lots of goodies. It gave me a bit of grief, mainly because I wasn't using a pattern but now that I have it figured out - I would do the next one a bit differently - I could probably bust them out with a bit of speed. I love the bunnies, don't you!

The second is compliments of a pattern I saw on marthastewart.com.  A bit fussy, but it turned out cute.  I didn't have a model to show you how it is supposed to hang so I tried my best in the photograph. The long arm goes through the short arm and then you can just put your hand through the hoop. Once again, this one is in kid size, which is probably the reason why it was so fussy, but I will probably sew one for myself. It's technically reversible and has endless possibilities.

The last is my signature marker/crayon bag. Not much to say about this one, I used a new font for the embroidery, I was trying to go for the space age look. 

I'm happy to report that Makenna is doing much better then I expected. Her shoulder no longer looks like a cantaloupe, maybe a smallish orange and she is actually getting some color back. I managed to coerce a smile out her, bless her little heart. 

The horror....

Thanks for all your well wishes. It means so much to know that I have so many great blogging friends.  It really has been a stressful couple of days but I'm sure things will eventually start to get easier.  Many of you have inquired about the nature of the accident, I've decided to just post it here. If for no other reason then to just get it off my chest, I'm feeling very guilty over the entire thing and I probably just need to let it go. 

Maya, the 90 lb. dog was leashed to the front door with a long lead.  We had been going in and out and she has been known to run across the street to see the neighbor's dog so rather then take a chance of her getting hit, we just secured her to the house.  The dog and Makenna were both in the house, I told Makenna to open the front door to go outside. I knew the dog would probably run out but didn't think much of it since I knew she was secured to the door.  It didn't dawn on me that Makenna would get in front of the leash or be in the way.  She opened the door, the dog bolted - all 90 lbs of her - the leash came from behind Makenna and caught her in the back of the legs - she is 35 lbs - she flew into the air into a horizontal position, the dog got to the end of the lead and the door slammed shut onto Makenna's head and neck.  The door handle slammed into her shoulder and broker her collarbone clean through, in my opinion it probably saved her life.  Her neck would have snapped if it had taken the full blow.  It was the worst thing that I have ever seen in my life, I was 2 feet away and just couldn't get there in time. It happened in slow motion yet so fast all at once.

We spent a good part of yesterday with the orthopedic surgeon who specializes in children.  "Impressive break" is what he called it, he had never seen anything like that before, a break like hers, a person who does this for a living said that.  The bone is normally so pliable that it bends, he can't imagine the force that it took to make it break the way and in the location that it did.  On the plus side, no need for surgery, since they cannot cast that part of the arm, it should set fine on it's own.

I made her a sling last night to replace the ugly hospital one - I thought maybe some froggies would brighten her day.  It was the least I could do.  We had big plans in the next couple weeks that are not going to work out. I was supposed to be flying to NC tomorrow to see my girlfriend and have a couple days of much needed alone time. In 2 weeks we had made reservations to stay at a giant indoor waterpark in Washington State.  Her school recital is this coming Monday.  Plans change, I'm just thankful she will be ok. 

 

Good will...

I had a rough evening yesterday to say the least. Makenna, our 3 year old, was involved in a horrific accident with our 90 lb. dog that I would rather not go into (it wasn't the dog's "fault," it was an accident.)  Unfortunately, Makenna did not fare too well and spent the evening at the emergency room.  She managed to escape with a broken collarbone and some pretty significant bruising, it could have been worse - she could have been killed, but she is in serious pain.  I'm having a heart attack and am just plagued with guilt, I was 2 feet away and just couldn't get there in time. It was just horrible. 

I try not to ask for much but I thought I would go out on a limb and call on some of my internet friends to send her some well wishes.  I realize she is only 3 but she would love to get some cards in the mail or some small little doohickeys to show her that there are lots of people out there that care for her.   Amelia, our 5 year old, was also incredibly brave during this whole thing and I know she would love to get a card from a "friend."  So if you think you have some free time to write her a little note, e-mail me at zolzer at olypen dot com and I'll send you our address.  Thanks so much. 

Lighten the load...

Even in the midst of the "economic stimulus" checks (does anybody else think these are a joke, a welcome joke, but a joke nonetheless,)  the news is still spewing out doom and gloom. Oil prices are at an all time high - I've noticed by my $75.00+ fuel tank fill up and airlines are continuing into crisis mode.  I had enough issues with the $25.00 second bag fee, now American Airlines plans on charging $15.00 for the first one!  For a family of four, that adds up to a pretty substantial cost in addition to the already ever increasing price of tickets.  Luckily we don't have to fly too often, but we are planning a trip back east in the fall to attend my BIL's wedding, fuel prices could make for a very expensive flight!  In the meantime, I'll just sit back and hope it doesn't affect us too much and cut little corners where we can. 

Makenna decided to play her part and lighten the load by getting her long locks cut off.  I managed to persuade her that she really did not want her hair to look like "daddy's" and instead convinced her that a "tinker belle" haircut would be the way to go.  It's not the best cut but it does look truly adorable on her and I'm happy to leave behind the combing hair power struggles that seemed to come at least once a day.

Here she is sporting a brand new sun dress hot off the sewing machine.  I found this fabric in the remnant bin and it only cost me $3.45.  All I did was sew a seam up the back, hem the bottom and attach some bias binding as halter tie and she had a brand new dress.  Less then 4 bucks and 20 minutes isn't too bad!  The best part is that she loves it, and that's enough considering she isn't always easy to please. 

 

I've been busy with other things about that house that are far less the glamorous but I did manage to finally get the front portion of my Ogee Tunic knitted up.  It came out lovely, I changed the shaping a bit, the original pattern was more of an A-Line and that really doesn't fit my body type so a little math led to 2 extra inches in length and some girly shaping.  That should do the trick.  Now I have the back and the sleeves to knit up, but those should go quick in theory since it is mindless stockinette.  I'm thinking of doing 3/4 inch sleeves for a more "casual" feeling, any thoughts on that?   

That's it for now. 

Everyday foods revamped...

I secretly curse my girlfriend's two boys who will pretty much either eat or try anything.  Her 5 year old will pick fish as his favorite food any day of the week.  Mine, a little different, they prefer their meals to be in nugget form.   So it turns into a power struggle but as you remember I've committed to end the struggle and begin anew.  Things are going surprisingly well and I feel confident that they will continue to improve.

But what do you do when your kid's still don't want to eat anything but the nuggets.  I guess let them eat nuggets.  I've taken a cue from Beth, a fellow knitter and mom who does not have a blog, and decided to let them pick out dinner for one night each week.  So o course, as I was explaining this to them, their eyes got as big as pie plates - "We can pick WHATEVER we want."  I was expecting an immediate chorus of nuggets but my youngest surprised me and immediately yelled out "COOKIES - I WANT COOKIES ."  This was followed by a "no dear, you can have cookies after dinner but for dinner."  Then followed by an "awe man..i want nuggets."  My older daughter surprised me with tacos.  If they are going to choose tacos and nuggets every week I might as well try to make them healthy and pack in some extra goodness where I can.  Viola, tacos revamped.

   

The recipe was inspired mainly from this book.  A child's exposure to veggies should by no means be limited to "hiding" them in their food, but a little sneakery here and there is just fine by me.

The taco filling itself was the big change and it was a little different but surprisingly good!  I used 1 1/2 lbs of ground turkey, 1/2 pureed sweet potatoes (lots of vitamins,), a 14 oz can of crushed tomatoes(hello lycopene) and a regular packet of taco seasoning sans the MSG.  The whole ting got wrapped in a yummy organic spinach tortilla from the market - the kids thought it was hilarious that the tortilla was green - and finally garnished with local sharp cheddar as well as organic lettuce and avocado from my CSA and it really was a truly green meal.   

The best part, both my daughters actually ate it with no complaint and Amelia glowed with pride at the fact that she picked it.  I might win this battle yet.  Next up - revamped chicken nuggets - lord help me now!   

Shaving cream fun...

I've been a bit inspired by the Crafty Crow and wanted to share with you our latest creation.   Although this was age appropriate for my young children I've seen some rather sophisticated marbling techniques done by older kids.

The supplies are basic -

• the cheapest white foam shaving cream you can find
• Paints - I used liquid watercolors but any other water based paint like Prang tempera will work well also.
• paper - I prefer a heavier card stock but everyday is fine.
• a straight edge to scrape off the shaving cream - piece of cardboard or flat plastic
• a paintbrush or toothpick for swirling
• lots of paper towels.

Spread about a once inch thick layer of shaving cream onto some sort of mat or tray.  I prefer to "level" off the top but you can leave it bumpy if you wish.   Carefully drop or paint directly onto the shaving cream.  You can use coordinating colors like we did here or just do one at a time.

   

Create your design using a paintbrush, foam brush, or a tooth pick. Make whatever sort of design or shape you wish.  Keep in mind you want the paint to stay on top of the cream so don't smash it in too much.

Place your paper onto the cream and press gently.

Remove paper and admire your work.

 

The colors may look all muddled but use your straight edge to remove the excess cream and Viola!  A work of art!

   

Repeat until your kids get tired of it and decide to paint themselves with the shaving cream.

The prints would look great on the front of home made greeting cards or you could use large rolls of craft paper and create your own wrapping paper!  Embellish with glitter or stamps or just leave plain.  The possiblities are endless.  Happy Crafting!   

I'm amazed...

at the marvels of nature everyday!  Especially those found close to home. Anyone wanna take a guess at what these are? 

I'll give you a hint. They grown on this!

 

The wonders just never cease. 

All about the mom...

I try to do some crafty thing nearly every day.  I'm always working on something, whether it's a knitted sweater or fabric place mats or my latest quilt, but I've found that very few of my creations ever reach these pages.  Did you know that I sew nearly all of my children's clothing?  Don't ask where I find the time, I'm not even sure, I think it just comes in little blurts of harried late nighters crammed between all the other projects that I work on.  But that's not the point, the point is that I share very little of what I actually do.  Many of the projects I do are with my children and most of them are not really photographic wonders.  My hesitancy might come from some sort of subconscious fear of rejection for not being an artistic marvel.  But I think  it's more then that,  I've been hesitant to turn this into a site glorifying my kids and my role as their mother but in reality, my identity has changed and I am all about the mommy moments.  Maybe that is why I have such a hard time keeping things updated, not much happens to me that doesn't involve my kids and I've not wanted to subject my readers to "all things children" or "all things mommy."    But, whatever the reason I guess it's time for me to start getting to it.  My status isn't going to change anytime soon and this site might as well evolve with me.  So be prepared for adventures with the family clan and I'm sorry in advance if I bore you.

In celebration of mothers everywhere - or at least those in Afghanistan - I've been busily working away at this monstrosity of stockinette stitch - 658 rows of 125 stitches.   Talk about knitting doldrums.  After a quick trip to the dye pot - it has been transformed into a beautiful green shawl, the symbolic color of Islam.  The dye job isn't the greatest, a little blotchy here and there but I'm sure that the recipient will just be pleased to have a hand knit offering of love and joy.  If you would like to knit a shawl - you can find the details here.

I know it's not a glamorous piece of work, but it's making a difference one stitch at a time!  Hopefully I'll be able to get one more done before July!   In the meantime - happy day to all you mothers, future mothers, and those who choose not to be a mother out there!   

Whole foods and drunken chicken...

Joining katydidknit's  fitness-a-long has forced me to take a much needed, but a not so appreciated, look at my body and my lifestyle.  Motherhood has really changed me physically and not necessarily in a good way.  Although I'm still a trans fat nazi and I loathe overly processed food, I've begun to notice that my cupboard is predominately filled with typical preschooler fare of goldfish and fruit snacks and I've stopped at McDonald's a couple more times then I would like to admit.  I've begun to cook "speedy" meals for convenience sake but really the kids don't eat them and I'm getting fat so it's not really convenient for anyone.  I'm enjoying my food less but am still packing on the pounds.   So what gives?  We really do live in a processed food environment and no matter how much I stand on my soap box and preach the evils of partially hydrogenated oil and high fructose corn syrup I've allowed these items to creep into my diet due to pure complacency.  So I need to make some changes.   

But change is hard and it takes time.  I really would prefer to have oodles of extra hours every day to knit, sew, study, and bake whole wheat bread all the while keeping my home clean, my dog walked, my kid's butts wiped, and maintain my personal sanity.  Without some sort of compromise I see none of these things happening.  But I digress.

I'm thinking it's time to get back to whole foods.  Good food really doesn't have to be complicated and it doesn't need to come out of a box or from a can to be convenient.  I used to love to cook and I have a bookshelf full of cookbooks to prove it but lack of food gratitude from my children (seriously though, they are 3 and 5, what sane person could expect food gratitude at that age) and my perceived lack of time has really turned meals into a chore.  So I have decided to re-evaluate and cook selfishly, for me.  I'd like to enjoy my food again and since my kids will probably complain whether it's fast food or whole foods I might as well do something right for myself.  So I've been taking a little extra time, planning out meals, getting the kids involved where I can and just trying to enjoy my time.  Cooking should be therapeutic, and with husband home right now doing the dishes, who could ask for anything more.

On the plate last night - country lima beans with beer can chicken.  You basically shove a can of beer up a chickens *ss and stick it on the barbecue.  It was delicious, and none of it came out of a box!   

Phew...

That was a lot of work!  What a tremendous response, we managed to raise over $500.00 to various charities around the community.   I'm hoping this giving spirit will continue, no matter how little you may have, you always have enough to share a little. 

These will be heading to the post office today and tomorrow.   I think it's about $1000.00 worth of yarn give or take a little.  Of course, I didn't think it through on my end and forgot about postage costs!  Yikes..we might have to set up a charity to cover mailing fees, some of these packages are going all the way to the UK!   

 

I have contacted pretty much everyone to let them know they made it to the list. If you have not heard from me, drop me a line.   I have 3 folks that I'm not sure about. The rest of you should be getting your envie in the mail sometime soon!   

give a little...get a little...

Thanks so much everyone. I've run out of yarn, but feel free to donate if you want, I'll add you to a list in case I find some more!

I know times are hard for lot of folks right now.  "Economic recession" isn't just some it word from TV land, it's hitting many Americans in both big and small ways.  Being a single income military family, we have experienced parts of this recession first hand as we watch gas and grocery bills go through the roof and don't even get me started on Southern California utilities, I have a nearly small coronary each month.  Regardless, no one has felt the crunch more then non-profits, people in real need don't just go away during these hard times and many folks are out there just struggling to feed their kids. But that doesn't mean that we all can't use a couple of life's little luxuries - like hand dyed sock yarn! 

So I'm hoping to find a new home for some of my stash and make a little cash for those in need.  This will be much simpler then last years fundraising thing, I'm still pretty sure that a few of you didn't get your yarn! 

I have about 25 skeins of hand dyed sock yarn - most doubles - meaning they are double skeins, 8 oz instead of 4 oz so enough for grande socks or two pairs - that need new homes.  I'm out of room and seriously, I've knit 1 pair of socks in the last 6 months, at this rate it would take me about 25 years to knit through half my stash! 

   

So this is how it's going to work.  You will donate some cash (whatever you feel is fair - I'm talking $5.00 - $10.00  - $15.00 - $20.00 -  I'm not judging) to UNICEF - or a charity of your choice.  E-mail me - athyarns at yahoo dot com - a copy of the receipt and your mailing address and I'll send you a skein of yarn.  I'm going to just slap your name on one of the envelopes - (this is true Montessori style - you get what you get and you don't mind a bit).   

About the yarn, it is from my own personal stash and it has all been been hand dyed by me.  None is tagged but it is all superwash merino or a combo there in and all is appropriate for knitting nifty little socks,scarves, hats, or small shawls.  I realize it's a bit of inconvenience to not know the yardage but I've made sure to only pack up the skeins with ample yardage to knit a normal pair of socks.  And as I said, MANY of the skeins are double skeins so you should have more then enough to share with a friend if you would like.  The gauge, well you guys all to test swatches right?!?  As I stated earlier, you get what you get - if you don't like the color, swap with a friend, knit a hat for a shelter, or use it in a charity blanket - it's for a good cause and you never know, you could strike gold!

So I don't run out of yarn..be sure to post a quick comment that you are participating.  It will "close" at 35 commenters, if it even gets to that, until I reassess my supply. 

P.S. If you are a spinner and would like roving instead of sock yarn let me know.  I think I have a bit I could part with. 

Lose it unless you use it...

As most of you know, I'm returning to school in the fall to get my certification in Montessori.  I'm pretty excited, a little nervous about my ridiculously long summer reading list, but excited none the less.  The thing I didn't talk about was the Master's in Education that could go along with my certification if I choose to pursue it.  Well, I should clarify, if they choose to let me in.  My grades in college pretty  much sucked, I really had other priorities at the time, and now 10 years later I'm paying the price for a little too much fun time.  I e-mailed the admissions board, actually the lady who heads it, and told her very candidly that my grades sucked, is there any way in hell they would let me in especially since it is 10 years later.  I have a chance, not a great chance, but a chance if I take the GRE.  Holy crap! 

So now I'm in GRE hell. I decided to go for it, minus the fact that I would actually get my M.Ed. if I get accepted, I would also qualify for all sorts of financial aid things that I do not by merely getting my certification.  Unfortunately, getting a kick ass score on the GRE, which is highly unlikely, will not guarantee me a spot but it will  help my pathetic odds just a little bit. So I decided to just go balls out and buy all the Kaplan stuff and really study.

I'm amazed about all the stuff I really don't know. I could not answer even one of the math problems and did not even recognize half of them.  And to demonstrate even further how sorry I am at this, I don't even know enough of the basics to be able to learn the advanced stuff I need for the test - how to divide decimals, simplifying radicals, finding percentages of percentages of decimals.   I really don't think I'm a stupid person, I just don't remember any of this crap.  So, I'm feeling a little tense.  The thing that irks me the most though, is after spending literally hundreds of hours to study, they probably still won't let me in but I have to give it my best.

 

On the knitting front - I've begun a sweater if you can believe it.  The Ogee Tunic from Knitting Nature.  I'm not entirely sure why I'm knitting a definitely fall sweater right at the beginning of a sweltering SoCal summer but I've committed to it.  I have at least 10 UFO's in my "knitting trunk" and there is no room for another so this must actually come off the needles in a decent amount of time. I've made a few minor modifications to it but will discuss those as the sweater comes to a finish. In the meantime, it's slow going but I must not lose hope!  Tootles. 

Friends don't let friends drink white wine...

The fundraising auction was Saturday night and in my humble opinion it was a smashing success!  Unfortunately, I got a little smashed as well and I'm payed the price for it the next day.  I managed to suck down 5 glasses of white wine and a token kamikaze - not a pretty sight considering my alcohol tolerance is at nil. Luckily, I'm a gushingly happy drunk so if anything so I just tried to spread good cheer.  I had about 10 people come up to me and tell me how nice I looked, one person even went so far to say that she almost didn't recognize me.  I guess it should be a good thing, but it makes me wonder if I really just look like crap the rest of the time.  It was like they were all shocked I could actually clean up.  But it didn't stop my good cheer and I had a great time. 

The mirror project went for $600.00 in a silent auction.  We all agreed that if it had either gone live or had stayed open longer it would have gone for more. My mother was disappointed, she really wanted it but the price ended up being over her limit.  Instead she focused her energy on a gas grill...yeah for us..we now have a new grill for our patio and she got to win something.  Our last grill basically imploded while we were living in Charleston and we have greatly missed it. I managed to get a little overly generous and paid $200.00 for an overnight babysitter - that's what liquor will do to you!  BUT, at least I know sometime in the next year Tom and I can have a real date night, complete with hotel room and a nice sleep in sans children. 

Pre-event..you would not  BELIEVE what happened to me.  I was in desperate need of a hair cut so I just picked a random salon out of the phone book and went for it.   The auction theme was "Hollywood Glamor" so figured I should at the very least get my big hair blown straight and try to channel some inner glamor.  I get to the salon and am mid styling when a camera crew enters the salon. Get this, apparently they were filming for a new reality show on TLC.   Holy crap.  Of course I was filmed mid blow dry, no make up with a giant mushroom afro - couldn't they at least wait until I was done for a presentable filler shot.  I'm sure the whole thing will make it to the cutting room floor but it was quite an adventure.  For the Mom, who was being taped, she didn't look like she was having a good time, must be challenging to have your every move dictated and filmed. 

    

A sucker born everyday...

I'm really a sucker for cookbooks and of course, I made no exception with this one.  I've been drooling over some of the delectable cookies that Amy has made over the past couple weeks so I decided to jump on the bandwagon.

   

It was a tough decision after realizing that 99% of the recipes could be found for free either on-line or in some of the older issues of the magazine, I only have to decide to take the time to look for them.  Yet, something is said for convenience and I like having all of these delicious cookies in one neat little book.  It does make me wonder how often we purchase stuff that we don't really need just because it's easier then doing without.  I only have to look around at my gazillion kitchen gadgets to realize that convenience rather then resourcefulness definitely rules this roost.  But easier for whom - there is always someone out there somewhere that has to pay the price for that convenience.  If you have not had an opportunity to watch this video here then please take the time to do so now.  Although much of the video is not anything that I hadn't heard before, she made some good points and I definitely had a couple "ahhhh" moments. But I digress.   

The real reason I'm here is to share some chocolately love with you.  I present - The Surprise Cookie - isn't that a delightful name.  For all you thrifty folks, you can find the recipe for free here and I must say that these are probably the first cookies that I've ever made that actually look like they do in the book.  And they were super, super, super delicious.  So bring a little love to your belly and make a batch. 

   

Bamboozled...

Have you ever been bamboozled?  You know, agreed to something before you even knew what was happening.  I got bamboozled and I've been feeling the pain over it the last couple days.

I was approached a couple months ago by a very nice lady at our school who said she heard I was pretty crafty.  My first instinct was to run - would have been the best thing to do, instead I stood there like a deer in headlights.  First off, how did she know I was crafty (I found that out later) and secondly, what exactly did she want (boy I'm getting awfully suspicious in my old age.)  She asked if I'd be interested in doing a couple craft projects in my children's classrooms, I didn't think much of it and agreed, assuming it was all low key and no pressure.  We could do home made paper or make beeswax candles or something - she just gave me this funny smile and nodded.   

A couple days go by and I start to learn the whole story - first in bits and pieces and then like a giant tidal wave. Funny none of this was told to me before.  First it was - oh by the way, we need a finished product.  Then we went to - we need a finished product to sell at the school's fundraising auction.  Then I got, we need a sophisticated yet cute yet age appropriate crafty finished product for the hoy-tie toy-tie school auction that raises in my opinion a ridiculous amount of money each year.  So I went from homemade paper to some elaborate and amazing art piece created by 3 and 4 year olds.  Holy crap!

Amelia's class went surprisingly well and I'm rather pleased with how this turned out - the pictures really do not do it justice.  I can actually envision a couple smaller versions of these, maybe picture frames, going out as Christmas presents, so if you any of you have questions just drop me a line.  The tiles were super easy to make and doable by most ages - even the real young ones could help out.  I used polymer clay, let the kids roll it and out and then had them stamp designs into it using some random stamps I had lying around.  Then, they cut out "tiles" using square cookie cutters from the craft store and finally brushed their finished tiles with mica powder to give them a sparkly sheen.  After a quick bake in the oven, I glued them onto a largish photo frame and had a mirror cut for the middle.  I used seed beads for "grout" and lastly sprayed the whole thing with polyurethane to protect it.  I really am thrilled about how it turned out and hoping it will be a huge success. 

   

The second project..was a little more stressful and definitely came down to the wire.  It consisted of hand prints of all the children in the class - the children themselves punched them out using their little punching needles and pads - a lot of patience on their part.  They then painted them with water colors and I sprayed them with a sealer.  I painted the canvas with the background, border and heart and then glued the hands directly onto the canvas.  I then used decoupage medium to "paint" over the whole thing and seal it in. The stars were punched out and also decoupaged on.  I'm not sure if it's legible but it says "With heart and helping hands, a child can accomplish anything."  Many of the auction projects are donated back to the classroom so I'm kind of hoping this will end up back in the class.  Once again - picture really doesn't do it justice.

All my frustration melted away when I heard the oohs and ahhs from all the children.  It's fantastic to see the delight on their face when they see something big and beautiful that they created.  And it was actually a  a great opportunity to spend some quality time in the classrooms getting to know the other kids.  Biggest lesson learned - to just let things go and let the children's work stand.  On a number of occasions I wanted to help "fix" something but I realized it wouldn't be their work if I tampered with it.  I've been down on myself lately for my lack of self control in a number of areas but this really took a tremendous amount of willpower to not be anal.  I feel pretty proud of us all.

 

Just a quickie...

Only time to write down a quick note.  For all of you with children or whom feel like a child at heart check out The Crafty Crow - a children's craft collective.  Its the brain child of BellaDia and is really a fantastic resource for all of us who could use a little extra inspiration from time to time, I especially love the watercolor flowers and the puffy paint. Just brilliant!  I'd love to hear what you think.   

Montessori or bust...

My father recently told me I needed to get a life.  I know he meant it in the most sincere way and really meant no harm.  Of course, my initial reaction was where could I possibly squeeze in any more life, I'm already busting at the seams - literally and figuratively.  But after further contemplation I realized he was right.  I need a long term focus, something to get me through the shitty days.  So I'm taking a major leap of faith and going back to school in the fall.   

I've decided to get my primary teaching certification in Montessori education.  This is no easy decision, minus all the insecurities that a 30 something faces when making major life changes, financially it's going to be brutal.  The tuition alone is ridiculous, but add to it the other nickle and dime costs and I'm likely to have an anxiety attack.  I'll be needing to pull about 10 grand out of my ass come September, yeah for me. 

I'm a 100% believer in Montessori education - it has had a phenomenal impact on my children's lives and most folks who I've met who do not agree with this form of education have had gross misconceptions about the process. True Montessori learning is warm and nurturing, it teaches children to be independent and creative thinkers and really nurtures self worth and pride.

But that's not why I'm here.  How many of you have truly gone out of your comfort zone to start something new?  A new career, a big move just on the whim, or some other life change.  How do you cope with those little nagging doubts and insecurities.  Or the self consciousness of starting fresh and not having a clue about what you are doing.  Let's hear your story.   

Crazy...

It's been far from quiet around here the last week and I'm far from feeling the inner peace that I've been working hard to cultivate over the past couple months.  My husband has returned from a long patrol overseas, this is both a blessing and a curse, and the kids are home for spring break.  About the husband thing, of course we miss him dearly when he is gone, but the dynamics of the house shift when he returns from these long trips and it takes a bit for me to readjust.  He really is filled with good stuff and is a great father but he is notoriously bad at spewing out idle threats and then not following through.  It's a major frustration for a number of reasons.  First off, idle threats are just idle, not much point to them unless you are going to follow through.  Secondly,  when you have a majorly stubborn and controlling 3 year old like we do, every little give in grows the monster bigger.  I see it growing everyday and I feel helpless to stop it.   So when I finally get fed up and point out the behavior, of course calmly away from the kids, I get the old one two - "I know, I know, I'll stop doing it."  This is accompanied with the glazed look and no eye contact.  Does it change?  Of course not, and 10 minutes later when it happens again, I'm ready to scream nasty profanities. Grandma and Grandma came for a short visit the day after my husband returned, so this of course quadruples the stress I'm feeling.  I love my parents dearly but I don't necessarily love myself when they are around. I find myself regressing to old behavior, and I end up feeling like a little girl who is trying to please mommy and daddy. It's very annoying, and couple that with the children's behavior which suddenly becomes dictated by an overabundance of sugar and spoiling, I end up feeling like a crazy person.

In the meantime I did manage to finish my little ankle socks and have decided to ship them off to my girlfriend Christy. She is unexpectedly pregnant with her fourth child (can you say holy shit) and if any feet need a little love it's hers.  I'm pleased with the way they turned out although I did get lazy and did a 3 needle bind-off for the toes, next time I'll just graft them the proper way.

 

   

 

Easter revisited...

I'm attempting to channel my inner kids craftster. I know she is in there because every once in a while I pleasantly surprise myself by having some creative thought that meshes cohesively with the plans of my children.  This thought was not my own however but kindly borrowed from Amy over at Angry Chicken. 

Although it's pretty straight forward - chocolate, shredded wheat, stir - even the simplest craft can turn into a complicated ordeal.  I resigned myself that my little nest builders were not really nesters after all, but rather blob, volcano, or big mound of chocolate builders.  Fair enough - they had a great time eating them. 

Although I love my children immensely, there are times when I wonder what in the hell was I thinking.  Even with chocolate smeared all over the house, it surprisingly enough was not one of those times.  The greatest thing my children have taught me was just to let things go sometimes.  Let go of my preconceived notions of what things should look like or be like, let go of trying to perfect something that is fine the way it is, let go of those little nagging thoughts that in order to enjoy something it has to fit in my bubble.  I'm eternally grateful for those moments, to really appreciate just being the person I am and the mother I am and to not worry about how it should be but just love it how it is.

   

For all you who can correctly channel their inner martha - this is a fun project.  For those of you like me, it's still fun. 

what are you doing?

Since the girls have started their new school we have gotten invited to about a gazillion birthday parties.  This really doesn't mean my children are social geniuses, or even popular for that matter, I think it's just because there are 2 of them and their names are more likely to come up in birthday party conversation. One's younger, the other is older -  in preschool terms that is - and since they always seem to come as a pair, they get invited to both spectrum of parties - the little kids and the big kids - in preschool terms of course.  So another weekend, another birthday. I'm usually OK with the birthdays, it gives me a good opportunity to scope out the other parents and I think I keep inwardly hoping that I'll have some cosmic connection with my "other mom soul mate."  It hasn't happened yet, and although I would love to go into detail about some of the other seriously whacked out families I've seen,  I'll save it for another day.

This particular party was for a sweet little girl named Angela who is 5 going on 15.  The party itself was only mildly entertaining but the entire scene was pretty much hilarious.  I was the only native English speaking person at the party.  Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely down with the diversity thing, I got my degree in ethnic studies and I'm all about living in a multicultural world but I had to laugh because it was ALL Chinese women with a few token husbands thrown in.  All very polite, but all speaking very chinese Chinese that I could not understand a single word of.  I spent a good deal of time nodding and smiling and sadly resigned myself that all those episodes of Ni Hao, Kai-lan I've watched over the last month had not taught me shit. I tried to understand, I listened with fierce concentration for the first 20 minutes or so hoping that even one word would ring a bell, but needless to say, it didn't, and i resigned myself that spontaneous osmosis doesn't really work with learning languages.  So I quickly want from fascinated to being sad that if my other mom soul mate was here I would never know it because I didn't have a clue to what anyone was saying and then finally on to being bored out of my mind. 

I was incredibly relieved to remember that I had brought my knitting and I had something to do with my hands.  You would not believe the number of kids who came up to me and were fascinated by what I was doing with the pointy sticks and bright colored yarn.  It's pretty obvious to me that I'm knitting a sock but apparently not to the general population - every time a little child asked what it was I made them guess before I told them - a shirt, a tissue, a pair of pants, a dog bowl.  A particularly precocious little girl grilled me on the whole process for about 20 minutes and then basically came to conclusion (this is all interpreted by body language, rolling of the 5 year old eyes, a deep sigh, and a shrug) that it was just dumb to knit a sock when you could buy a whole pair at the store and although she liked the color, hers were better since they had flowers on them.  Hilarious, and so opinionated about a little innocent sock.  I was rather amused but taken aback and found myself quickly defending myself with all the virtues of sock knitting.  But she had moved on to bigger and better things.

   

All in all it was a fine time, the best part being that I got to work on my socks.  The cute blockers are from Leggy Creations - she really does nice work and these fit my feet nearly perfectly. The stripes are about an inch each so when I need to measure, I just slide it on and viola, no fumbling for the ever elusive tape measure or trying to get my toe up to my face to read what the darn thing says.  These are probably my first self knit pair in years..that's pretty pathetic considering I probably have about 100 skeins of sock yarn stashed about my house. Maybe it's time to share the love...stay tuned for that. 

I am stunned...

by the outpouring of warmth and empathy I received from so many of you.  It really made my day.  Granted I did say that I was going to write for me, not anyone else, but I'll let it slip just this once and admit that it was a mighty fine moment of validation to realize I'm not alone.  I do want to say that I will continue to seek out those "great blogs" since they do provide fantastic eye candy and inspiration in my life but I no longer need to strive to be like those blogs.  I'm just me and that's OK.   

I took each and every comment to heart and will be responding to all of you - eventually that is, my personal timetable can be a bit skewed at times.   Caitlyn made a comment that struck me on a number of different levels though and I wanted to chat about it for a moment. The first being the obvious, in Caitlyn's own words "I like having a place to express my thoughts, my triumphs, and my failures. I choose not to care how many people comment. I don't feel the need to apologize if I don't write for a few weeks; this is my space and I will write when I want to. " Point well taken.   

The second way it struck me was a bit less obvious.  I've been pathetically inept at keeping up with other people's blogs and it's kind of self centered for me to think that I can nurture this connection to the outside world by merely being here and not working at connecting with other people myself.  I'm really busy, with the kids, and the house and the other gazillion of projects I find myself being sucked into. I have found that on a number of occasions, that I'll read someone's work and just don't feel like taking the time to hit the comment button.  Or even worse, I don't even take the time to read the text, I just look at the picture, make a judgment,  and move on.  I subscribe to nearly 250+ sites, it's ridiculous to think that I can keep up, I get behind on my readings, I get frustrated, I feel disconnected and it's all down hill from there.  I appreciate each and every site I'm subscribed to in a different way but it's unrealistic to think I can keep up with them all.  Although I'm not ready to hit the clear button and start over, I'm going to try in the midst of my clicking and moving on to take a moment and really think about something that was written.  And to take the time to comment on it, in a meaningful or superficial way to just let the person know that they were important enough to me that day to stop what I was doing and press the comment button.  Now you can't do that with every person, every time, but how nice would that be to know, that just one person really did take the time to see what you had said and felt it was important enough to reply back.  So I challenge you to do the same, just one a day, it doesn't need to be here, just someplace out there, take the time to read a post and reach out.  Just one a day.    

Remember me?

I thought this was a fitting question that typepad asked after I had not logged in for a number of months.  Yes - I would like you to remember me, thanks so much for asking, I think we would all like to be remembered in one way or another.  In all honestly, I hope that all of you out there remember me too, but if not, that's OK too. 

I'd like to say I had some sort of major epiphany that led me back to the blogging world - but I didn't - or at least not a major one.  I've kind of just stumbled back after realizing that I didn't really have any fantastic reasons for leaving in the first place.  That's what I thought, until I found myself sitting here trying entirely to hard to figure out something amazing and profound to say. Now is when the epiphany comes, not about why I'm back but about why I left.  I felt myself having a blogging crisis in "keeping up with the Jone's" fashion.  I was beginning to feel true pressure of wanting to have an uber perfect craft blog that folks would come from around the world to ooh and ahh over.  You've seen those places right, with the 275 comments, with the earth children who read and explore nature and never wear anything from Walmart, the wonderful photography of little toes and bugs and artsy stuff in perfect lighting, and the books and the fabric lines and the amazing knitted works being produced at break neck speed.  All the while running a successful business, being thin and beautiful, creating amazing works of art whether the medium be quilting, knitting, or food, and managing to have a blogging smile on their face in every single post that they come up with every single day.  Don't get me wrong, I'm amazingly impressed by many of these women and wonder what things would really be like if I was in their shoes for just a moment.  (Especially the artistic photos that make some of them truly look like super models.)  But is it really all pink cotton candy or is there a lot of behind the scenes editing and Prozac behind those moments?   But honestly, that's the whole point, who cares.  I'm not one of those people, although I try to pretend I have it together I don't most of the time.  And although I'm blessed with a million wonderful things everyday, I'd rather explore the crappy one just to get it off my soul.  And  honestly, I really can't base my entire self worth or the worth of my latest knitted sweater on how many comments I may or may have not gotten.  I really don't have enough residual self esteem for that.  I work really hard to keep what i have intact and there are enough things in the world that break you down everyday, just a 1/4 inch at a time,  so I really don't need to be looking for another reason to remind myself why I'm not as good as "fill in the blank here."  Because I am as good, but I'm also as bad and as ugly as the rest of all us common folk and if I hide that with warm and fuzzy posts then I'm denying myself the right to be myself.  Let me tell you, it's taken a lot of work to figure out who I am (a work still in progress) and to become OK with it, I don't need my own blog sabotaging it. 

So to make a long story short, I'm going to give it one last try.  I'd like to do it for me, you know, as a therapeutic catharsis, but really I'm going to do it in the hopes of just connecting with one other person out there who feels the same way I do at that given time.  One will be good enough.  That's really what we only need right?  Not the masses, but just one, one that is is true.  So hello world and check here if you remember me.   

Hiatus...

I'm alive and well but taking a little break to regroup myself and my blog. I miss you all dearly and hope to be back with some fresh new stuff at the beginning of the year!  Toodles!