Poway or bust...

It seems that my "situation" is ever changing and every time I commit to something, something comes along - or in this case doesn't - which forces me to change yet again.  The last two days have been no different. 

As many of you know, Tom - my hubby - left for a long deployment last week. I'm fine if you want to know, fragile, but fine.  Anyway. Although his homeport will be in San Diego, he will be out at sea for great lengths of time and we both decided that there is no reason for me to rush out there just so I can sit around in a new city with him gone. I might as well be here in my house with my friends with him gone. We had decided to "slum it" a bit and live in govn't housing, for a number of reasons but mainly because of the economy in So Cal is NUTS!  I was prepared to hunker down for 5 or 6 months to await housing and would see Tom again when he came home for  a week or so at the end of October.  So Monday, he goes to the housing office to check things out and get our name on the waiting list and apparantly the wait list has jumped considerably and now the wait is over A YEAR!!!

Now I'm a big girl, I don't get my panties in a wad when hubby is gone for a couple days, or even weeks for that matter.  I'm not one of those women who fall apart during a crisis, or can't wipe their ass without marital support but a year is a bit ridiculous, even for me.  So I'm going to suck it up and move.  So basically I need to find a house, sell my house, and find a preschool, move 2 kids and a dog across country and get settled into a new place all in the next month or so, the majority of it being done alone. Are you f*cking kidding me!  It's all good though.  Why so quickly?  Well as much as I bitch about my children, I love them dearly and want what is best for them.  And what is best for them (and for me for that matter) is to get them into a good preschool program starting at the beginning of the school year. They are going to have to deal with enough changes as it is and it's imperative (or atleast I have this notion that it is) that they get in some sort of program and doing so will make them magically well adjusted and everything will be ok.

So I'm having a freakin' heart attack. I spent the entire day on the phone yesterday with real estate places and local preschools, had to make a major decision about which community to live in without seeing it and basically flew by my pants hoping it would work out.   I did find a school with an opening which is a minor miracle but the tuition is about as much as a year of college.  But, remember, it will make them happy and well adjusted.  And I think I found a place to rent, I'm having my credit checked now as we speak.  Once again, hoping for the best and relying on the power of the internet.  Now I just need to magically sell my house in a month.  And I can't even list it yet, I have 300 skeins of yarn in my garage that needs to be dyed, I need to deep clean, declutter, touch up paint and fix the fireplace. 

Anyone have any valium or ativan they can send me.  I really think that the only thing keeping me together is the smile and nod. I'm pretty much on the brink of losing it.