All Things Heather

Tragedy...

I've been doing so well with my food log. I'm amazed at how quickly calories stack up. No wonder I've been gaining weight at an exponential rate.  Who knew that tiny fish burrito I love so much at Rubio's (pretty much the only fast food place I'll ever eat at) had 800 calories in it! That's over half my intake for the day, that doesn't even count the chips and guac I usually pack in too!  Since I started I've lost 5 lbs.  I'm no fooling myself into thinking it was 5 lbs of anything but excess water weight - I was super bloated, I looked like an oompa loompa - but 5 lbs of water means that my wedding ring is no longer cutting off the circulation in my finger and that's good enough for me. 

Tragedy had to strike. I'm sick. This is not your run of the mill sickness, this is life altering I don't know how I manage to make it out of bed, I have a fever and it feels like someone is poking hot irons down my throat sickness and every joint and bone in body aches sickness.  Apparently strep is making it's round about Southern California and it decided to stop in the house for a little visit.  Of course, Tom is off and about doing Tom stuff at work. The kids are still on winter break and going stir crazy.  I barely have the energy to get out of bed and help them with the bare necessities.  Montessori mom goes out the window during times like these.  It's only 12:30 and they are already on their second movie.  I feel bad for them, I feel bad for me, now's the time when I need to step up and be a good mother but I just want to lay on the floor and cry about how bad I feel. My youngest declared that she would NOT eat the grilled cheese that just took me 30 minutes to make and I collapsed in tears.  I just can't take it today, I can't take the fighting, the opposition, the anger. I just want her to be nice, eat her freakin sandwich and tell me I'm a good mom and give me a hug. I know it's a lot to ask of a four year old but it's just one of those days. My ego and my sanity and my bodily well being are all being held together by the tiniest thread and it's stretched so tight that I'm afraid everything is just going to snap. I just need to make it another 7 hours and then it will bed time.

So that's enough for my pity party. I'm hoping hubby will be home sometime tonight so I can make it to the ER or at the very least maybe the clinic will call me in a prescription for something to make my misery go away. I've been drinking orange juice and cayenne pepper like it's nobody's business and it's helped a bit but the inside of my body feels like it's on fire!  Just a couple more hours and I can lay around in agony!

By the way..I just noticed that my blog comments are nearly to 3000.  I'd tell you exactly but I want it to be a surprise.  At this rate, it will take a couple months to get there but I wanted to dangle the carrot out there.  Number 3000 will get a nice surprise!  I think a nice hand dyed fiber surprise, maybe something about 2000 yds, enough to make a sweater and a hat and a scarf.  Maybe silk?  Or Bamboo? Or just plain merino..in what ever color the person might want it.   Let's just see...we are almost there. 

I hope all of you are in good spirits and wishing you the very best this new year!  Here's to losing a couple pounds and finishing up my degree!  Blessing to all of you and Happy New Year!!!

Christmas Ham....

I weighed myself this morning.  I'm just absolutely disgusting. Or maybe I'm just disgusted with myself.  I've put on so much weight over the last couple of years. It has just crept on insidiously and now it holds on for dear life.  I initially blamed it on Makenna, due to complications breastfeeding was cut short, so I never lost that baby weight.  I can't really blame the last 20 pounds on her though, so who can I blame it on?  Genetics?  Lack of self-discipline?  Food today that is essentially void of nutrition but packed with calories and fat.  I was commenting to my husband last night, for the forty first time, I'm heavier then I've ever been in my life but I enjoy food less then ever.  Things seem to taste bland, I don't enjoy the purity of food that I did at one time, I just find myself mechanically packing it into my mouth and watching with horror as my backside expands.  And my metabolism, don't even get me started on that.  I can look at a chocolate bar and almost immediately begin to feel my pants tighten.  I'm cursed with a slow metabolism...and hitting the 35 mark didn't help much either. 

So I'm not sure what to do.  I need to make a bigger commitment to my health, like many of us I'm certain. The funny thing is, that I eat pretty healthy, not too much processed food, lots of organic and whole foods. I'm the healthiest eater I know, but quantity over quality does have something to do with it.  I'm really not caught up on the whole weight thing, but I can't afford to keep buying bigger clothes and it's not going to get much easier to get off later.  I really do have the self discipline of a slug.  I'd like to think on that more later but for now I don't think my much damaged ego can take it at the moment.

So I think I'm going to start a food journal and start really watching my calorie consumption before I start making any drastic kneejerk (and temporary) changes.  Maybe I can find the hidden patterns that I didn't see before that would clue me into what is going on and then start working on my self control to change things slowly.  When my husband was lamenting on this exact same topic a month ago, I told him to start writing down everything he ate because he was probably eating more then he thought he was.  Maybe I should follow my own advice.  So wish me luck on this journey of eating self exploration.  And although I'd love to lose 40 pounds..I'd be happy with 20, heck I'd be happy with 10!  I can't afford to start knitting bigger sweaters! 

Tis the night before Christmas..

And what do I find myself doing this fine Christmas eve?  Typing homework of course.  I have a HUGE project due on the 5th and I must not put it off until the last minute, so here I am on the night before Christmas, click clacking away.  In thinking back to last year at this time, grad school was only a minor twinkle in my eye.  I was still in a bit of a fog and wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life. I graduated from college in 1996 with every intention of going back to graduate school. But lives were lived and before I knew it, over a decade had passed and I found myself a stay at home mom to 2 lovely if not slightly obnoxious children.  I'd been in a funk for the last couple years, not a day to day funk, but an overall funk, wondering where my life was going to take me. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother, but that is not all that I am.  And now, here I am, back to the click clacking away. In all honesty, I wouldn't of had it any other way.  I didn't realize that Montessori was my calling until very recently, I wasn't even sure of it when I started this program in September but I'm sure of it now. And if I had realized it, even a couple years ago, I wouldn't have that couple extra years of age and wisdom I have now.    And what of the funk?  It's comes and goes, I'm still working to find balance in my life, but I'm thankful that I found my purpose.  

I would really love to go in depth about the Montessori program here, I know many of you, assuming you have any interest at all, probably have some stereotypes or misconceptions in regards to Montessori but I don't want this to become my Montessori blog so I'll approach it in baby steps.  As to not let this program consume me, I've been trying to get back to some knitting and sewing that I've neglected over the last couple months.  Here are some sneaks of the projects. I'll revisit these in more depth later.  In the meantime.  Merry Christmas to all of you and hope you stay warm and toasty (and out of airports) this holiday season!

 

Homemade Holiday...

Can you believe it..two posts in 2 weeks!  I think I deserve a gold star or something!  Ok, not really..and if you count quality over quanity then this really isn't much more then a filler post, but a post none the less! 

I'm sure for most of you, the end of this year has been financially challenging. I personally made a commitment not to overspend this holiday season since things are so tight all around. I didn't do as well as I had hoped to, as I look at a closet stuffed full of presents, but I did much better then I had in the past.   I've noticed though, that when things do get tough, it's equally as nice to give as it is to receive.  I would have liked to have done a handmade holiday for all the folks on my list this year, but I really didn't have the time or the foresight to get my stuff done back in July.  Actually, that's not true, I had the foresight just not the will power to follow through with it.   Regardless, I did manage to take some time out of my hectic schedule and do a little Christmas baking. It was actually pretty easy, I choose my recipes carefully, and I had a nice time spending part of the last couple days in the kitchen.  I wanted to share my a favorite recipe or two, it's not too late to get baking! 

The first is a Martha Stewart one that I've been baking for a quite a few years now. It looks a bit complicated but it's really not!  You can find the recipe here but here is a quick type up also:

Chocolate-Peppermint Cookies:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup Dutch-process cocoa powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon coarse salt

4 ounces milk chocolate, chopped

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon pure peppermint extract

3 large eggs

45 round swirled peppermint candies, coarsely crushed

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl; set aside. Melt chocolate and butter in a heatproof mixer bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Attach bowl to mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Add sugar, extracts, and eggs; mix on medium-low speed until combined. Reduce speed to low; mix in flour mixture. Stir in one-third of the candies. Refrigerate dough until firm, about 30 minutes (or wrap in plastic and refrigerate overnight).

 

Using a 1 1/2-inch ice cream scoop, form mounds of dough; dip tops into remaining candies to coat. Place cookies, candy sides up, on baking sheets lined with parchment paper, spacing 2 inches apart. Bake cookies until just set, about 15 minutes. Let cool on sheets on wire racks. Cookies can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature up to 3 days.

The second recipe I wanted to share with you is compliments of Wondertime.  Not only was this particular recipe much better then I thought it would be. The technique is a keeper!  Granted, the proper way to make bark is to spend a couple hours tempering the chocolate but I didn't really have time.  The refrigerator gave the chocolate that extra snap and I doubt it will be around long enough for anyone to analyze it.

Cherry-Pumpkin Seed Chocolate Bark :

1 teaspoon olive oil
1/2 cup raw hulled pumpkin seeds (the green kind)
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
2 (11- or 12-ounce) bags semisweet or bittersweet chocolate chips
1 cup dried, pitted sour cherries

Heat oven to 250. Line a 12-by-17-inch jelly roll pan (or rimmed baking sheet) with parchment paper. In a small saucepan over medium-low heat, heat the oil until a drop of water sizzles on contact, about 3 minutes. Stir in the pumpkin seeds and cook, stirring constantly until the seeds are fragrant, starting to brown, and making popping sounds, about 3 or 4 minutes. Turn off the heat, stir in the salt and cayenne, and leave to cool about 5 minutes. Scatter the chocolate chips evenly in the prepared pan. Place pan in the oven for 5 minutes, then remove and spread chocolate with a rubber spatula. Scatter the cherries over the top of the melted chocolate, then scatter the pumpkin seeds. Chill at least 2 hours, until firm enough to break into pieces.

 

I made two other kinds, white chocolate peppermint bark and oatmeal cookies with holiday m&m's.   I plated the sweet treats on 8 cute dessert plates I had bought on clearance last year, bagged them up and off they will go to their lucky new homes. I'm happy to be done. I'm pleased with how they turned out and I felt better getting back to a handmade holiday.  Hope you take the time to enjoy one of these recipes! 

 

Deck the halls with boughs of slackness...

Fa la la la la la la la la....

Miss me...huh...huh...

Have you noticed a pattern?  I disappear for a couple months, come back all smitten and jolly, ready to tackle blogging again with new inspiration. I make a couple comments about how I was feeling too much pressure, I need to just blog for me and not worry about popularity or readership. I'm good for a day or so and then I drop off the face of the planet.  Phooey to that,  I miss you guys!

Well I am alive and I am back but I'll spare you with the sob story of my absence.  Well maybe I won't spare you all the tasty details but I will spare you from any false promises of blogging grandeur.  I do have some things I'd like to share and hopefully I'll find the time to do it. 

So you want to know where I've been?  Remember way back when I said I wanted to go Montessori or Bust?  I took the plunge and did it, and I'm now in the middle of a full blown graduate program in education, $28,000 in debt, and well on my way to changing the world one child at a time.  I need one of those super girl t-shirts, but it has to be real cheap because I have about 50 cents to my name right now.  It's been quite a ride so far but in all honesty I'm enjoying every minute of it. (Most minutes, who really does enjoy every single minute of anything? Except maybe chocolate, I enjoy every single minute of chocolate.)  Going back to school at my age, 35 last month - gasp, has been a bit strange. I've not only been out of academia for nearly a decade but I've spent the last 5 slowly losing brain cells with my wonderful, but brain cell sucking two children.  The people in my class are a trip, luckily I've managed to keep my blogging alter ego fairly incognito and only one girl knows this link!  Hi Michelle!  So, I'll try to pass on some of the more entertaining moments of my day. 

So how is everyone doing with this new economy?  Pretty much sucks doesn't it!  We've cut back on so much and it still not enough.  Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, I have been a bit wasteful in the past, time to get thrifty.

See my yucky shiny face..n ot it's not how I normally look but the winter winds (yes even here in southern California) have played a number on my pores.  But who has money to spend on those outrageously expensive pore strips.  I saw this recipe someplace on line and it works like a charm:

 Home-made Pore Puller Outers:

Mix 1 1/2 teaspoons of milk and 1 teaspoon of Knox gelatin in a small bowl. Heat in microwave for approximately 10 seconds.  Mix thoroughly and using a small paint brush, brush mixture onto nose and any other areas that are a little clogged.  I recommend avoiding the eye area, for reasons you will find out later. Let dry 10 to 15 minutes and peel off carefully.  This is the point where you are thankful you didn't put it under your eyes!  Take a look, you can even see the little porcupine things sticking out, that was in your pores!  Double the recipe if necessary but I find this makes plenty!  That was my thrifty tip for the day!  I'll hopefully be back soon! Tootles!