I've been doing so well with my food log. I'm amazed at how quickly calories stack up. No wonder I've been gaining weight at an exponential rate. Who knew that tiny fish burrito I love so much at Rubio's (pretty much the only fast food place I'll ever eat at) had 800 calories in it! That's over half my intake for the day, that doesn't even count the chips and guac I usually pack in too! Since I started I've lost 5 lbs. I'm no fooling myself into thinking it was 5 lbs of anything but excess water weight - I was super bloated, I looked like an oompa loompa - but 5 lbs of water means that my wedding ring is no longer cutting off the circulation in my finger and that's good enough for me.
Tragedy had to strike. I'm sick. This is not your run of the mill sickness, this is life altering I don't know how I manage to make it out of bed, I have a fever and it feels like someone is poking hot irons down my throat sickness and every joint and bone in body aches sickness. Apparently strep is making it's round about Southern California and it decided to stop in the house for a little visit. Of course, Tom is off and about doing Tom stuff at work. The kids are still on winter break and going stir crazy. I barely have the energy to get out of bed and help them with the bare necessities. Montessori mom goes out the window during times like these. It's only 12:30 and they are already on their second movie. I feel bad for them, I feel bad for me, now's the time when I need to step up and be a good mother but I just want to lay on the floor and cry about how bad I feel. My youngest declared that she would NOT eat the grilled cheese that just took me 30 minutes to make and I collapsed in tears. I just can't take it today, I can't take the fighting, the opposition, the anger. I just want her to be nice, eat her freakin sandwich and tell me I'm a good mom and give me a hug. I know it's a lot to ask of a four year old but it's just one of those days. My ego and my sanity and my bodily well being are all being held together by the tiniest thread and it's stretched so tight that I'm afraid everything is just going to snap. I just need to make it another 7 hours and then it will bed time.
So that's enough for my pity party. I'm hoping hubby will be home sometime tonight so I can make it to the ER or at the very least maybe the clinic will call me in a prescription for something to make my misery go away. I've been drinking orange juice and cayenne pepper like it's nobody's business and it's helped a bit but the inside of my body feels like it's on fire! Just a couple more hours and I can lay around in agony!
By the way..I just noticed that my blog comments are nearly to 3000. I'd tell you exactly but I want it to be a surprise. At this rate, it will take a couple months to get there but I wanted to dangle the carrot out there. Number 3000 will get a nice surprise! I think a nice hand dyed fiber surprise, maybe something about 2000 yds, enough to make a sweater and a hat and a scarf. Maybe silk? Or Bamboo? Or just plain merino..in what ever color the person might want it. Let's just see...we are almost there.
I hope all of you are in good spirits and wishing you the very best this new year! Here's to losing a couple pounds and finishing up my degree! Blessing to all of you and Happy New Year!!!
Ugh. I'm so sorry you are sick, hon. That sucks. Take it easy on yourself, and feel better.
Posted by: trillian42 | December 31, 2008 at 01:46 PM
I have a hard enough time with my four year old and I'm healthy! Can't imagine it with more than one kid and being sick. I hear you about the food thing (as I stuff Lay's Wavy chips down). I had to dress up recently and saw that not a single thing dressy in my closet fit me. How sad.
Posted by: siew | December 31, 2008 at 04:22 PM
hmmm,,, yarn!
I am usually only reading after falling in love with a yarn of yours I found on ebay and made into mitts and hat awhile ago.
Good luck with your diet and a happy new year, we are going to start the diet after we will ship our girl back to college on the 18th!
Posted by: Rachel | December 31, 2008 at 05:15 PM
Feel better soon!!! Hope you all have a healthy, happy New Year!
Posted by: Kerry | December 31, 2008 at 05:31 PM
It's amazing what a food diary can do for awareness. Good job. Sorry to hear about the strep. Thats crappy. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Posted by: Machelle | December 31, 2008 at 08:31 PM
Hugs!! Hoping you feel better soon! Don't beat yourself up either! You're doing the best you can!! Happy New Year!
Posted by: Zonda | December 31, 2008 at 09:16 PM
Oh, Dear! What a way to start the year - I hope you are feeling better ASAP!!! Being a sick mom is no fun.
Posted by: Cathy | January 01, 2009 at 07:45 AM
Hope you start feeling better soon. Being sick with kiddos at home is horrible. It seems that everyone has been sick for the holidays this year. Hubby and one kiddo have already gotten sick so far.
Happy New Year!
Posted by: Trish | January 01, 2009 at 09:51 AM
Oh no! Feel better soon!!!!
Posted by: Nell | January 01, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Oh feel better Heather.
Posted by: Mama Urchin | January 01, 2009 at 05:37 PM
I couldn't believe calorie counts on things I thought were good for me. MY BIL got a sampler platter thinking it was lower in calories because the portions were smaller and it totalled in at 2100 calories!
My saving grace was bison. I love the taste of beef but the fat and calories kill my daily allowance...bison has less fat and calories then chicken...and I love the taste.
Happy New Year...may your illness disappear like 2008. *hugs*
Posted by: Ruinwen | January 02, 2009 at 05:24 AM