All Things Heather

Update the old..and a CSN giveaway!

And the Winner is -

 

I think if I won this, I'd pick out some nice cookware like this skillet from Le Creuset!:

http://www.csnstores.com/Le-Creuset-L2024-1620-LEC1786.html

Posted by: carmen @ life blessons

Thanks for everyone who entered! 

 

 

Summer is fast approaching but it doesn't mean that it's too late for a little spring cleaning.  While deep cleaning my living room I noticed that although I still LOVE my old couch, it would be nice to get a new one.  Unfortunately, this will probably have to wait until my kids have moved out,  since they tend to wreak havoc on all that I own. I was cruising the internet, fantasizing about a new living room and found a delightful selection of sectional sofas at CSN.  I particularly love this one and wish I had a house to fit it. 

Of course, couch shopping led to house shopping led to kitchen shopping and I found too many cute things to list but I do have a couple faves that will probably be going home to me one day. How cute are these?

Win a $60.00 gift certificate to anything at CSN stores!

Mandatory Entry: Pick out what you would buy at CSN Stores with the $60.00 if you won the contest and leave a comment. 

Bonus entries:

Post about the giveaway on your site! 

Post about the giveaway on a different site! (Ravelry etc.)

Like CSN Stores on Facebook.

Become a follower of CSN Stores on Twitter.

Tweet about this giveaway! 

 

The giveaway is open to US and Canadian residents since that is where they ship to. You must be 18 or older though. The giveaway will be ending one week from today! I will email the winner and the winner will have 24 hours to respond to my email before a new winner is chosen. Good luck!

 

 

 

 

Not the happy news....

Heads bleed...a lot. I've known this to be true especially in relationship to being a mother.  Your child boinks his or her head on just about anything and next thing you know, gushing blood.  It always looks much worse then it actually is, you get used to the blood, breath deep and stay calm for your child.

Apparently dogs aren't much different.  Dog heads bleed as much as human heads. 

Maya, the giant dog, doesn't get talked about too much.  In actuality, I could have an entire blog devoted to the trials and tribulations of being a giant dog owner but I allow her to take a backseat to the rest of my life on this blog. Today she is front and center.

If you had walked into my house yesterday you would have thought it was the scene of a murder.  Blood splattered the walls, pooled on the carpet and tile floors.  I was covered in blood, the kids were covered in blood, the house was covered in blood..dog blood to be specific. 

The neighbor's husky was over for a play date, they play rough, run, jump, bite, growl, wrestle.  Do what normal giant dogs do when they play.  But something went terribly wrong.  No fighting, no noise, just Maya bounding back into the house covered in blood.  Puncture marks on her back and neck, her ear practically torn in half.  And serious amounts of blood.  Horrific amounts of blood.  Texas chainsaw massacre level of blood.  I stayed relatively calm,  I credit that to all the practice I get from accident prone children. I examined the wounds, dumped an entire bottle of hydrogen peroxide over her head, wrapped her head in gauze and called the neighbors and asked them to kindly get their dog. 

I managed to get Maya to the vet before the bandage came off so saved my car a major cleaning.  Just as we walked in, she shook her body, and sprayed blood all over the lobby and about a half dozen horrified pet owners.  It was lovely, let me tell you.  Luckily she is the calmest dog, not at all phased by all the blood. They took her in back, gave her a sedative and started to stitch her up.  The dog I got back was not my dog.  Half shaved, 25 plus stitches, and a giant drain coming out of two puncture holes on her back. The vet politely suggested that she doesn't "play" with that dog anymore.

Now being the owner of a 100 lb bully breed brings certain amounts of looks from uneducated non-dog people.  Threatened looks, intimidated looks.  Oh that dog looks like she is so mean looks.  People have these misconceptions about bully breeds that is fueled by the media, mis-education, and a few bad owners.  My dog is the sweetest, friendliest dog in the world. She is capable of violence, all dogs are, but she has never hurt another dog or person on purpose. Squirrels being the exception, she is trying her hardest to single handedly eradicate the squirrel population. But besides that she is nice and I'm sad that this happened to her.  I am sad that it happened to her by the neighbors dog, the owner being one of "those guys" who thinks Maya is a time bomb waiting to happen. And it was his dog that did this to her.  His "gentle and sweet" dog. 

So think twice before you judge a dog based on looks.  And if the dog is a shit, blame the owner not the dog. I don't think there are bad dogs, just bad owners.  

  

Piece by Piece...

So things are relatively calm here on the homefront. Granted, I still have my days that I feel as if everything is sucky but I'm able to work through it.  Of course, I have about a gazillion projects going on in the house with not a end in sight for any of them. I'm still weaving, still knitting, still sewing and would like to bust out my spinning wheel one day.  I'm just not doing too much of each. Or maybe, it's plenty of each just not enough to get anything done.

I recently discovered a big box of amy butler fabric in my garage.  I have no idea how I forgot it was out there, I guess sometimes life gets in the way, but it's found now and I couldn't be happier.  I need a new quilt for my bedroom so am currently working on a very simple piece.  I realize the picture is uber crappy, I didn't have the energy to make it all artsy fartsy but the fabric is beautiful!  My only real concern is quilting the damn thing, it's huge!  King Sized. Although my batting only needs to be quilted every ten inches, I'm still going to have to figure out a way to get the thing through my machine.  It should be interesting to say the least.  I'll be sure to keep you all updated, I'm sure you are waiting with bated breath.  ha ha...

I have some other very exciting news but I'm going to wait until the end of the week to share.  In the meantime.  Take care. I love all of you and get outside and enjoy the weather. 

Multifunctional pinkie promises...

 
 
In case you didn't know already, "a pinkie promise is the most powerful promise in the world." 

 These are the words coming out of the mouth of my five year old during snack the other day.  Now I get the seriousness of a pinkie  promise, but I don't understand the eternal purgatory that must be endured if one is broken. 

"You must never ever break a pinkie promise," she says in a hushed whisper.  "That would be very bad."

So you can imagine my incredulity when she calmly explained that I was to sew her new best friend the most beautiful gown ever. 

"Makenna, why would you promise something like that." 

"Because if I didn't, she would cry."

Of course.  She would cry.  The infalliblity of five year old logic.  So I come to school the next day and the little girl had drawn a rudimentary sketch of the aforementioned princess gown, complete with matching head band and little blue sparkly shoes.  It just about killed me, so I did what any self respecting mom would do,  I busted out my measuring tape, took some quick notes on essential measurements, and went to work. 

Fortunately I've learned enough about sewing in the last couple years that kids are nearly as picky as adults and as long as it's sparkly, they aren't going to care if the seams are a little wonky. I decided to just draft my own pattern and wing it.  This is what I came up with.  Working with fake polyster sateen was not my favorite but the shirring was fun and when faced with a heavy hit of steam, it crinkled up just perfectly and in a much satisfying way.  How can you not love elastic thread!  

Although a little tricky to get into, the design offers sizing flexibility in the bodice so I'm sure she will wear it out long before she outgrows it.  She insisted on the white sash with a flower attached of course, but I decided to not attach it so when the mood struck she could go for a more simplistic look.  The front and back are interchangeable, I like the front with the faux laced bodice facing.  But I also think it looks equally as nice with the shirring in the front accompanied with the sash and flower. 

Ok, enough rambling.  But I will admit I got a certain amount of girly satisfaction making this.  Although it did cost me 30 bucks and about 8 hours of my time, a pinkie promise is indeed a pinkie promise.  My curse, is that my girls would like their own gowns as well.  Sparkly gowns unite.  What joy it would be to be a five year old girl again, if only for a day.   BTW..if anyone wants any tips on making their very own multifunctional princess dress it was surprisingly easy, drop me a line and I'll walk you through it.    

Color me....

So of course, when you are not working anymore, what is the first natural course of action?  To go shopping and to buy a new prize!  Ok, so maybe it wasn't the most logical thing to do since we are flat broke but I certainly felt better for about five minutes afterward!  I am the proud new owner of a Schacht  Flip Folding Loom.  I got it at Paradise Fibers and I'm very happy about the personal customer service so I would without a doubt recommend them.    I called the store number with about a gazillion questions and no knowledge and they were able to quickly and proficiently guide me towards the new piece of weaving beauty which will undoubtedly be used but eventually banished to the corner holding my spinning wheel.

Although retail therapy and misguided thoughts of updating my blog on a regular basis give me enough umph to put on a pretty smile, things still suck. I've been battling a month long bout of deep dark depression that is to be only interrupted by Wednesday and Friday night beer drinking events and maintaining at least a tad bit of decency at being a good mother.  I hate feeling like this, feeling so lost and annoyed with life's turn of events.  I have yet to find a job and am suspicious of securing real employment in teaching after the fiasco of my old job.  I'm not sure if it's karmic law biting me in the butt because I've had a blessed life and in many accounts still do. Or if it's some mid-life hormonal imbalance but regardless, the mantra of my life keeps replaying like that of a crazy dying person. I'm 36, I have two kids, I have no job, I can't afford to get divorced from my husband who is embracing his new found freedom like that of a toddler in a candy store, I have a giant dog, three rats, four hamsters, and a boyfriend.  (Yes, that last one is right and normally puts me over the edge. I can't even say boyfriend without feeling a tinge of something slightly unpleasant.) 

My credit card bills are ridiculously high, my house is a mess, and I would be happy to just buy take out for dinner every night but then the thoughts of not being able to pay my car payment brings me back to reality and a box of gluten and dairy free mac and cheese pops out of the cabinet.  I don't like feeling like this, and I'm always the one to say - it's not all that bad, we make decisions, we control our destiny, we empower ourselves, we can just as easily choose to be happy as we can choose to be sad.  But it all seems like crap.  I'm incredibly moody, very quick to get all fired up over something stupid, and I just feel like i"m in a funk.  Maybe therapy and anti-depressants are a good idea at this point in time but I'm one to always appreciate the quick fix (which is a huge issue in and of itself) and I know that happy pills will probably not make me happy fast enough.  What I need is a good shake a hard slap across my face. I need a proverbial ass kicking so I can see the silver lining and realize that there are many other women out there who would love to be in my situation.   I mean, seriously, it's not great but it's a whole lot better than a lot of people.  So I'm going to trudge on, smile, drink on Wednesdays and Fridays (those are my I get to go out and don't have to be a stay at home mom for a couple hours) and wake up one day and choose to be happy.  In the meantime I should probably clean my house, and knit something, and cook something that doesn't come out of a box and take my dog for a longer walk and work on that new quilt that I painted my bedroom for but never got around to making.  In the mean time maybe I should just breath, stop obsessing, and bake cookies.  In the meantime maybe I should actually accept that the failure of my marriage is not the failure of my life, accept that I will eventually get a job, and things will work out so I should just stop and smell the roses while I still have time.  Thanks for listening. 

 

 

The elephant...and some sorbet.

Even the most well behaved and peaceful children can be challenging at times but when a child makes a left turn instead of a right in the story of life, things can be just downright overwhelming.  A while ago my youngest child took a left instead of a right.  I’m not sure when it exactly happened or what it could have been caused by but nonetheless, she is way down the wrong path and I’m by her side looking around thinking to myself “Where the f*ck are we?”   It’s an awful feeling, knowing that something is “wrong” with your child.  You get it from friends, family, teachers – “Oh she is just going through growing pains…oh it’s just a tantrum…oh she’ll out grow it.”  It’s not growing pains, it’s not a tantrum, and she will not outgrow it. I’ve known that for some time but whether it is denial or my inability to cope, I didn’t want to deal with it.  I take my kids to the doctors when they are seriously bleeding or if something is broken.  I don’t pour over medical journals or over analyze their behaviors; I follow my instinct and just give them space to grow.  So, I find myself sitting in her psychiatrist’s office again (yes my 5 year old has a psychiatrist, although I’m the one who probably needs one this time.) We are here for our weekly meeting about her behavior and mood swings (it's gotten bad to worse in the last couple weeks, they have this stupid little behavior form to fill out which is not at all age appropriate for a 5 year old but I do my best, 40 is having some issues, she scored a 90, not a happy moment, I digress).  Anyway, he looks at me and says I don’t know what’s going on yet, it could be a number of things but I will tell you that her behavior is not normal, is not typical, and there is definitely something going on here.  My instinct is to yell “duh” and then of course I start crying.  He starts to reassure me “It will be ok, lots of kids have problems, it’s not your fault and you are doing the right thing blah blah blah.”  And I try to tell him, between sobs “I don’t care if she has “issues,” lots of kids have issues, lots of adults have issues, we will deal with the issues, I’m just so relieved that I’m not crazy, that this isn’t in my head, that my kid is not ok, but now we know that and we can figure out what she needs to be ok. “  It was a heartbreaking but a very freeing moment.  It’s like the elephant in the room, you wonder if it’s your imagination, nobody talks about, nobody looks at it, and then some guy walks in and says “Dude, there’s an elephant in here.”  I felt scared but very relieved; yes it is an elephant, thank you for saying that.  Now how are we going to get it out of here? Yes, our family has some gone through some serious transitions over the last couple months but that is not the root of the problem, it doesn’t help but it’s not the issue, I don’t know what the issue is but I’m hoping to one day soon find out.  In the meantime, I am just thanking my lucky stars for being unemployed and having the opportunity to spend so much more time with her now.  I wonder how much longer the elephant would have been standing in the room before I took notice.   Things happen for a reason, sudden and traumatic unemployment has allowed me an opportunity to take a hard look at my life and family and realize they need me right now more than ever.

 

Pink Lemon Sorbet – We’ve been on an ice cream kick lately, we went dairy free a couple months ago due to various health issues and I’ve had fun experimenting with all sorts of fun flavors. This one is not so exciting but very delicious.  In a saucepan on the stove, combine and bring to a boil 3 cups of water and 1 cup of preferably organic sugar.  Remove from heat and add approximately ¾ cup of freshly squeezed lemon juice and a little zest if you want some more zing!  In the meantime, in your blender or food processor, mix up 4 or 5 whole strawberries (leaves and all (excellent source of vitamin c)) and process until smooth. Pour strawberry mixture into lemon mixture, stir well and chill.  You can then put this in your ice cream maker or just stick it in the freezer and stir periodically.  Simple and delish!  

Clapotis and spring chickens...

I did it! I actually finished a project, I think it's probably my first one in over a year. I just shudder to think of my stash of yarn being so neglected.  I LOVE how it turned out. I know I know, I'm a little behind the Clapotis bandwagon but better late then never.  Unfortunately, it will probably be stashed away in my closet to await fall but I'm just satisfied that the darn thing is finished. 

  If you notice, the pictures are extra fancy, not my typical norm. I went to my girlfriends for a play date and asked her to just take a couple casual shots of the shawl in front of a tree or something.  I should have known better, she of course put together her makeshift photography studio complete with professional lights and all.  I felt like I was in a glamor shot until I looked at the photos and began to realize how unglamorous I've been looking these days. I think the last year of stress, living in a hot and dry climate, and probably a couple too many cigarettes have done a number on my face.  Let me tell you, a billion dollar camera does not lie and it showed every little line and imperfection, thank goodness for photoshop.  It made me really contemplate things.  I'm pushing 37, that's closer to 40 then 30 and although I still feel like a teenager in my head most of the time, my body does not feel the same way.  Aging is a hard thing to do gracefully, when your face doesn't match your mind and next thing you know you're looking at a whole boatload of crows feet that even a double shot of botox won't fix.  Don't get me wrong, I'm ok with aging to a certain extent but I'm also scared to death.  Time just flies by and sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting to get there but I'm not sure where that place is.  So I guess it's time to learn how to use photoshop better and just embrace the fact that I'm not a spring chicken anymore. 

Pattern:  Clapotis

Yarn: Brooks Farm Four Play

Needles: Turbo Addis US size 8

Modifications: None that I know of but I will say that I blocked the heck out of this thing. I wanted a more traditional rectangle shawl and wanted to open up the dropped stitches.  It blocked beautifully and drapes amazing. 

 

Hand to heart...

Here's a quick little project I whipped up with the girls the other day. I think it turned out so sweet that  I had to frame it. You can find a tutorial here - the hearts are actually hand prints (mine and my two daughters) and it makes me smile every time I see it.  Thanks for listening.  You are the best.   

 

Moving forward...

We all managed to survive the first day of public school.  My neighbor, who I must add believes Montessori is a cult rather than a culture, reassured me that I was officially one step closer to living in the projects and going on welfare.  Nice guy, good thing I like him or I would egg his house.  Although I have my days to myself I feel as though they just fly by.  I have all these hopes of reorganizing, cleaning, cooking real meals that don’t actually come from a box.  The reality is that after taking the kids to school, walking the dog, cleaning up from breakfast, changing out laundry, and running errands, I have very little “leisure” time.  But very little is still some and I’m determined to start getting a little crafty again. 

This is my first "I'm unemployed" project and although not perfect, I am very pleased with how they turned out. After trying to get caught up on reading all those blogs that have eluded me this last year, I ran into this project made by Molly over at a foothill home companion.  Although I am not ready to bust out my sewing machine, it’s buried under a year of clutter, I remembered that I had these tea bags in my stash that I had bought for some project last decade. 

With a brown sharpie, some fantastic pink textile paints and some lovely dried lavender (also in my stash), I managed to come out with some cute little lavender sachets ideal for sock drawers or stinky places everywhere. Granted they are a little wonky and definitely "organic" but they smell great and I am pleased that I was able to use something from my ridiculously huge stash of crap.  Thanks again to this mucho talented gal for allowing me, albeit unknowingly, to copy her idea!  There is hope for me yet!

      

I made quite few to share with friends so if you would like me to send you a couple just shoot me a line with your address and I’ll do my best to get a couple in the mail.

 

What's up all.....

So there has been a lot of change in my life over the last year.  I keep meaning to post and I just don’t feel like I’ve had the time or the energy to do it but I’ve realized in the last couple months that an online journal would be a good thing to have.  I apologize for being a slacker and generally abandoning my tiny but loyal readership.  I’m going to try again, maybe I’ll be better this time!

So where to start?  Let’s start with the first.  As of a couple weeks ago I’m officially unemployed.  Not quite the happy ending to the Montessori dream that I began just a short year ago.  Life was made exponentially more complicated by that fact that my girls attended the school that I was working at.  My departure was not under the friendliest of circumstances so I’ve been stressed out in an unbelievable way with the conundrum of what to do with my girls.  I will go into more details later but my blood pressure is finally down to the normal range so I don’t want to get myself all worked up.  The kiddos, now 5 and 7, are attending their first day of public school tomorrow.  Quite the departure from scenario created by  the all natural wannabe Montessori mom who has dedicated her last couple years to the highest attainable well rounded educational experience she could get for her kids.  Now I’m plagued with nightmares of school bullies, bad lunches, and sitting at a desk until my children’s natural curiosity is sucked out of them.  I’m hoping that won’t be the case and I can round out their education with all sorts of the fun arts, crafts, and enrichment activities that we do every day.  I know that most kids go to public school, I went to public school, and we all survived.  It’s an irrational fear (I hope) and we’ll see how things go tomorrow.   

Since employment at this time of the school year is pretty much impossible, I’ve decided to get my house in order, get back to crafting and maybe knit something.  Wouldn’t that be a miracle!  I wanted to share with you a couple photos that my girlfriend took of my adorable yet very energetic children.  She is a local photographer in San Diego and has been an unexpected friend over the last couple months.   I’m thankful to have her in my life. 

Just a quick hello..

I played hookie from school today to watch the inauguration.  Boy was it a show and it's still going strong into the wee hours of the night!  I think I've become temporarily addicted to c-span.  Political viewpoints aside, I was pleased by the inaugural speech, Obama is a very good public speaker and I found myself moved to tears on more then one occasion.  Granted, this is coming from the girl who cries during the Folger's commercials. 

Hope all of you are well and I'll be back in a few days with a "real" post.  I have been working on a few things here and there! 

Overwhelmed....

I dragged my sick butt to the ER last night. I'm not sure if my physical state really warranted an ER trip but the fact that the clinic was closed today made my decision for me. I had suffered for 5 days already, I didn't think I could do another 2 more. After some blood work and a strep test, it was concluded that I was sick, really really sick.  Finally, some validation.  I not only have Strep, which I figured, but I also have the Flu and I have a REALLY low RBC count, like really low, nearly needing blood transfusion low.  I managed to talk my way out of that with plenty of reassurances that I would see my doctor on Friday and discuss the issue.  I'm probably just super anemic, which explains why I've been feeling so crappy, dragging, and tired. 

I don't do sick like most people.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not super woman, I'm cranky and irritable and pretty much at my wits end, but I don't get fevers.  I don't look fantastic but I don't look like I'm on my deathbed either.  Both freakin' Doctors that saw me, said "You look fine, the fact that you are just sitting there reading a book leads me to believe that you are fine. It's probably just a little cold with a sore throat. " Every time I swallowed it felt like hot daggers poking into my throat, I know what a sore throat feels like. This is like 9 on the pain scale, this rated up there with giving birth to a 10 pound baby.  I didn't have a cold, I knew I didn't have a cold, I didn't know how to express to a Doctorthat sees hypochondriacs every single day that I'm not overreacting, I feel like I'm going to die and I have to "hold it together" because I have two young girls that need me to hold it together and I if I really did what I wanted to do I would be curled up in the corner whimpering but I think it's more appropriate to try to distract myself with a book and at least pretend that I'm not ready to die.

Freakin' Doctor. After all that he gets my labs that he insisted that I didn't need, reads them, is surprised to find that Yes I do indeed have Strep even though he swore I didn't, and that I do indeed have the Flu, that one was news to me, I've never had the Flu before but I knew it was something because I've never had everything hurt so much, and he sees my RBC count and doesn't understand how I'm still up and about with a count so low. "I guess you do look a little pale." and he still looks at me like I'm "faking" it.  He then tells me when he had strep throat he couldn't even get up!  Good for you, I'm glad you are a giant puss, please don't compare yourself to me!  I know he was doing the best he could but I really wanted to call him a Jackass.  

I got some penicillin (the most complicated 4 times a day for 10 days penicillin) that I could possibly get prescribed and was on my way as quick as I could. I'm feeling much better this morning, only 12 hours of anti-biotics have worked a little miracle, I've only been on them a handful of times is my life, so I'm always surprised that their speediness in my body.  I'm a little irritable because I'm tired and I need to get some rest.  I can't because my husband is incapable this morning of expressing anything to the children in any other way but screaming and I'm spending my morning trying to keep everyone from being emotionally scarred for life. I just want to take a nap!    So that's where I'm at. Thanks for all your nice comments and well wishes. I'll be back to my perky self in a couple days! Happy New Year!

Tragedy...

I've been doing so well with my food log. I'm amazed at how quickly calories stack up. No wonder I've been gaining weight at an exponential rate.  Who knew that tiny fish burrito I love so much at Rubio's (pretty much the only fast food place I'll ever eat at) had 800 calories in it! That's over half my intake for the day, that doesn't even count the chips and guac I usually pack in too!  Since I started I've lost 5 lbs.  I'm no fooling myself into thinking it was 5 lbs of anything but excess water weight - I was super bloated, I looked like an oompa loompa - but 5 lbs of water means that my wedding ring is no longer cutting off the circulation in my finger and that's good enough for me. 

Tragedy had to strike. I'm sick. This is not your run of the mill sickness, this is life altering I don't know how I manage to make it out of bed, I have a fever and it feels like someone is poking hot irons down my throat sickness and every joint and bone in body aches sickness.  Apparently strep is making it's round about Southern California and it decided to stop in the house for a little visit.  Of course, Tom is off and about doing Tom stuff at work. The kids are still on winter break and going stir crazy.  I barely have the energy to get out of bed and help them with the bare necessities.  Montessori mom goes out the window during times like these.  It's only 12:30 and they are already on their second movie.  I feel bad for them, I feel bad for me, now's the time when I need to step up and be a good mother but I just want to lay on the floor and cry about how bad I feel. My youngest declared that she would NOT eat the grilled cheese that just took me 30 minutes to make and I collapsed in tears.  I just can't take it today, I can't take the fighting, the opposition, the anger. I just want her to be nice, eat her freakin sandwich and tell me I'm a good mom and give me a hug. I know it's a lot to ask of a four year old but it's just one of those days. My ego and my sanity and my bodily well being are all being held together by the tiniest thread and it's stretched so tight that I'm afraid everything is just going to snap. I just need to make it another 7 hours and then it will bed time.

So that's enough for my pity party. I'm hoping hubby will be home sometime tonight so I can make it to the ER or at the very least maybe the clinic will call me in a prescription for something to make my misery go away. I've been drinking orange juice and cayenne pepper like it's nobody's business and it's helped a bit but the inside of my body feels like it's on fire!  Just a couple more hours and I can lay around in agony!

By the way..I just noticed that my blog comments are nearly to 3000.  I'd tell you exactly but I want it to be a surprise.  At this rate, it will take a couple months to get there but I wanted to dangle the carrot out there.  Number 3000 will get a nice surprise!  I think a nice hand dyed fiber surprise, maybe something about 2000 yds, enough to make a sweater and a hat and a scarf.  Maybe silk?  Or Bamboo? Or just plain merino..in what ever color the person might want it.   Let's just see...we are almost there. 

I hope all of you are in good spirits and wishing you the very best this new year!  Here's to losing a couple pounds and finishing up my degree!  Blessing to all of you and Happy New Year!!!

Christmas Ham....

I weighed myself this morning.  I'm just absolutely disgusting. Or maybe I'm just disgusted with myself.  I've put on so much weight over the last couple of years. It has just crept on insidiously and now it holds on for dear life.  I initially blamed it on Makenna, due to complications breastfeeding was cut short, so I never lost that baby weight.  I can't really blame the last 20 pounds on her though, so who can I blame it on?  Genetics?  Lack of self-discipline?  Food today that is essentially void of nutrition but packed with calories and fat.  I was commenting to my husband last night, for the forty first time, I'm heavier then I've ever been in my life but I enjoy food less then ever.  Things seem to taste bland, I don't enjoy the purity of food that I did at one time, I just find myself mechanically packing it into my mouth and watching with horror as my backside expands.  And my metabolism, don't even get me started on that.  I can look at a chocolate bar and almost immediately begin to feel my pants tighten.  I'm cursed with a slow metabolism...and hitting the 35 mark didn't help much either. 

So I'm not sure what to do.  I need to make a bigger commitment to my health, like many of us I'm certain. The funny thing is, that I eat pretty healthy, not too much processed food, lots of organic and whole foods. I'm the healthiest eater I know, but quantity over quality does have something to do with it.  I'm really not caught up on the whole weight thing, but I can't afford to keep buying bigger clothes and it's not going to get much easier to get off later.  I really do have the self discipline of a slug.  I'd like to think on that more later but for now I don't think my much damaged ego can take it at the moment.

So I think I'm going to start a food journal and start really watching my calorie consumption before I start making any drastic kneejerk (and temporary) changes.  Maybe I can find the hidden patterns that I didn't see before that would clue me into what is going on and then start working on my self control to change things slowly.  When my husband was lamenting on this exact same topic a month ago, I told him to start writing down everything he ate because he was probably eating more then he thought he was.  Maybe I should follow my own advice.  So wish me luck on this journey of eating self exploration.  And although I'd love to lose 40 pounds..I'd be happy with 20, heck I'd be happy with 10!  I can't afford to start knitting bigger sweaters! 

Tis the night before Christmas..

And what do I find myself doing this fine Christmas eve?  Typing homework of course.  I have a HUGE project due on the 5th and I must not put it off until the last minute, so here I am on the night before Christmas, click clacking away.  In thinking back to last year at this time, grad school was only a minor twinkle in my eye.  I was still in a bit of a fog and wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life. I graduated from college in 1996 with every intention of going back to graduate school. But lives were lived and before I knew it, over a decade had passed and I found myself a stay at home mom to 2 lovely if not slightly obnoxious children.  I'd been in a funk for the last couple years, not a day to day funk, but an overall funk, wondering where my life was going to take me. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother, but that is not all that I am.  And now, here I am, back to the click clacking away. In all honesty, I wouldn't of had it any other way.  I didn't realize that Montessori was my calling until very recently, I wasn't even sure of it when I started this program in September but I'm sure of it now. And if I had realized it, even a couple years ago, I wouldn't have that couple extra years of age and wisdom I have now.    And what of the funk?  It's comes and goes, I'm still working to find balance in my life, but I'm thankful that I found my purpose.  

I would really love to go in depth about the Montessori program here, I know many of you, assuming you have any interest at all, probably have some stereotypes or misconceptions in regards to Montessori but I don't want this to become my Montessori blog so I'll approach it in baby steps.  As to not let this program consume me, I've been trying to get back to some knitting and sewing that I've neglected over the last couple months.  Here are some sneaks of the projects. I'll revisit these in more depth later.  In the meantime.  Merry Christmas to all of you and hope you stay warm and toasty (and out of airports) this holiday season!

 

Homemade Holiday...

Can you believe it..two posts in 2 weeks!  I think I deserve a gold star or something!  Ok, not really..and if you count quality over quanity then this really isn't much more then a filler post, but a post none the less! 

I'm sure for most of you, the end of this year has been financially challenging. I personally made a commitment not to overspend this holiday season since things are so tight all around. I didn't do as well as I had hoped to, as I look at a closet stuffed full of presents, but I did much better then I had in the past.   I've noticed though, that when things do get tough, it's equally as nice to give as it is to receive.  I would have liked to have done a handmade holiday for all the folks on my list this year, but I really didn't have the time or the foresight to get my stuff done back in July.  Actually, that's not true, I had the foresight just not the will power to follow through with it.   Regardless, I did manage to take some time out of my hectic schedule and do a little Christmas baking. It was actually pretty easy, I choose my recipes carefully, and I had a nice time spending part of the last couple days in the kitchen.  I wanted to share my a favorite recipe or two, it's not too late to get baking! 

The first is a Martha Stewart one that I've been baking for a quite a few years now. It looks a bit complicated but it's really not!  You can find the recipe here but here is a quick type up also:

Chocolate-Peppermint Cookies:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup Dutch-process cocoa powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon coarse salt

4 ounces milk chocolate, chopped

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon pure peppermint extract

3 large eggs

45 round swirled peppermint candies, coarsely crushed

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl; set aside. Melt chocolate and butter in a heatproof mixer bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Attach bowl to mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Add sugar, extracts, and eggs; mix on medium-low speed until combined. Reduce speed to low; mix in flour mixture. Stir in one-third of the candies. Refrigerate dough until firm, about 30 minutes (or wrap in plastic and refrigerate overnight).

 

Using a 1 1/2-inch ice cream scoop, form mounds of dough; dip tops into remaining candies to coat. Place cookies, candy sides up, on baking sheets lined with parchment paper, spacing 2 inches apart. Bake cookies until just set, about 15 minutes. Let cool on sheets on wire racks. Cookies can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature up to 3 days.

The second recipe I wanted to share with you is compliments of Wondertime.  Not only was this particular recipe much better then I thought it would be. The technique is a keeper!  Granted, the proper way to make bark is to spend a couple hours tempering the chocolate but I didn't really have time.  The refrigerator gave the chocolate that extra snap and I doubt it will be around long enough for anyone to analyze it.

Cherry-Pumpkin Seed Chocolate Bark :

1 teaspoon olive oil
1/2 cup raw hulled pumpkin seeds (the green kind)
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
2 (11- or 12-ounce) bags semisweet or bittersweet chocolate chips
1 cup dried, pitted sour cherries

Heat oven to 250. Line a 12-by-17-inch jelly roll pan (or rimmed baking sheet) with parchment paper. In a small saucepan over medium-low heat, heat the oil until a drop of water sizzles on contact, about 3 minutes. Stir in the pumpkin seeds and cook, stirring constantly until the seeds are fragrant, starting to brown, and making popping sounds, about 3 or 4 minutes. Turn off the heat, stir in the salt and cayenne, and leave to cool about 5 minutes. Scatter the chocolate chips evenly in the prepared pan. Place pan in the oven for 5 minutes, then remove and spread chocolate with a rubber spatula. Scatter the cherries over the top of the melted chocolate, then scatter the pumpkin seeds. Chill at least 2 hours, until firm enough to break into pieces.

 

I made two other kinds, white chocolate peppermint bark and oatmeal cookies with holiday m&m's.   I plated the sweet treats on 8 cute dessert plates I had bought on clearance last year, bagged them up and off they will go to their lucky new homes. I'm happy to be done. I'm pleased with how they turned out and I felt better getting back to a handmade holiday.  Hope you take the time to enjoy one of these recipes! 

 

Deck the halls with boughs of slackness...

Fa la la la la la la la la....

Miss me...huh...huh...

Have you noticed a pattern?  I disappear for a couple months, come back all smitten and jolly, ready to tackle blogging again with new inspiration. I make a couple comments about how I was feeling too much pressure, I need to just blog for me and not worry about popularity or readership. I'm good for a day or so and then I drop off the face of the planet.  Phooey to that,  I miss you guys!

Well I am alive and I am back but I'll spare you with the sob story of my absence.  Well maybe I won't spare you all the tasty details but I will spare you from any false promises of blogging grandeur.  I do have some things I'd like to share and hopefully I'll find the time to do it. 

So you want to know where I've been?  Remember way back when I said I wanted to go Montessori or Bust?  I took the plunge and did it, and I'm now in the middle of a full blown graduate program in education, $28,000 in debt, and well on my way to changing the world one child at a time.  I need one of those super girl t-shirts, but it has to be real cheap because I have about 50 cents to my name right now.  It's been quite a ride so far but in all honesty I'm enjoying every minute of it. (Most minutes, who really does enjoy every single minute of anything? Except maybe chocolate, I enjoy every single minute of chocolate.)  Going back to school at my age, 35 last month - gasp, has been a bit strange. I've not only been out of academia for nearly a decade but I've spent the last 5 slowly losing brain cells with my wonderful, but brain cell sucking two children.  The people in my class are a trip, luckily I've managed to keep my blogging alter ego fairly incognito and only one girl knows this link!  Hi Michelle!  So, I'll try to pass on some of the more entertaining moments of my day. 

So how is everyone doing with this new economy?  Pretty much sucks doesn't it!  We've cut back on so much and it still not enough.  Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, I have been a bit wasteful in the past, time to get thrifty.

See my yucky shiny face..n ot it's not how I normally look but the winter winds (yes even here in southern California) have played a number on my pores.  But who has money to spend on those outrageously expensive pore strips.  I saw this recipe someplace on line and it works like a charm:

 Home-made Pore Puller Outers:

Mix 1 1/2 teaspoons of milk and 1 teaspoon of Knox gelatin in a small bowl. Heat in microwave for approximately 10 seconds.  Mix thoroughly and using a small paint brush, brush mixture onto nose and any other areas that are a little clogged.  I recommend avoiding the eye area, for reasons you will find out later. Let dry 10 to 15 minutes and peel off carefully.  This is the point where you are thankful you didn't put it under your eyes!  Take a look, you can even see the little porcupine things sticking out, that was in your pores!  Double the recipe if necessary but I find this makes plenty!  That was my thrifty tip for the day!  I'll hopefully be back soon! Tootles!   

Fabric panels...

Finally, after nearly a year in the making, I managed to add a little color to my living room.  Remember way, way, way back when in October I was trying to figure which Amy Butler set I should use for my living room, I went for the green and "pinks,"  deciding on the aquas for my bedroom.  If you can actually believe it, I managed to sew a couple of throw pillows and a simple patchwork lap quilt in an afternoon's time.  Although the fabric is no longer cutting edge, I love it and it was a good match for my space.  

 

After brightening up my couch I realized that the rest of the room could use a bit more oomph or at the very least another "fabric" piece to tie everything together.  I recently rearranged my tiny living room and had been staring at an empty wall above the couch.  Thank goodness for other creative bloggers, I remembered seeing a post at Bella Dia about making fabric panels and realized this was a perfect solution.  A couple days of tinkering and viola.  I managed to incorporate a couple pictures of the kids in floating frames that I think work rather nicely with the panels and I used up a good deal of my scraps from the lap quilt.  

 

The whole thing was a harder to photograph then I imagined.  Either there was too much light or not enough, I'd get glare on the frames or have to use my flash.  I will definitely not be quitting my non-existent day job to become an interior photographer but hopefully you get the drift of what it looks like.  Size is also tricky when photographing spaces but I reassure you that the size of the "mosaic" is appropriate to the wall, it looks a little wonky in a couple of the pictures but trust me, it's nice in person.  

All in all I really love the way it turned out and I think it definitely adds a bit of spark to my living room.  It's amazing how tiny little touches here and there can truly make a space and it was really not that difficult nor that expensive.  Next, maybe a little splash of color in the kitchen, I think a couple new hot pads and some decorated tea towels really help out. I'm sure that will be another year in the making though.  Thanks for looking.

Child abuse...

It was a pretty mellow weekend but we spent a considerable amount of time at the pool on Saturday. Luckily, our community has a nice pool and at only $6.50 for admission, it's a pretty inexpensive way to spend a Saturday morning. Normally I make the children wear long sleeve suits but for some reason I had a lapse of judgment and allowed them to wear their speedos.  Even with a hourly sunscreen lathering, my oldest came home with quite a burn.  It's pretty much as bad as it looks and I get the loser mom award for the day.  The sun is deceiving, and sunburn is even more so.  When you notice you are getting red, it's normally much too late and this case was no exception.  Luckily she is young and resilient so she can curse me later in life.  her sibling, Makenna was not blessed with the white pasty skin and tolerates sun exposure much better, although I am diligent about sunscreen on her I can't remember the last time she actually got a burn.  For lunch we had a delicious smoothie filled with lots of anti-oxidants and enzymes so maybe that will help fight some of those nasty free radicals.  Don't they say that most of your skin damage is done during childhood?  Anybody have any nasty burn stories they would like to share?   

Hi....

I figured it was time to finally come back.  I've been gone for how long now, a couple of months, maybe? Definitely enough time to bum out some of my few but loyal readers, I'm sure everyone understands the summer hiatus thing.  Regardless, I didn't think forget about you guys and have thought of many of you throughout the last couple months.  I wonder how "Mama Urchin" is doing keeping her kids busy with no planned activities, I wonder how Ruinwen is doing with her relationship with her mom, I wonder how Zondais feeling about her boobs, and I wonder if each and everyone of you has had a nice summer.  Honestly, I haven't been keeping up with my bloglines so I have no idea.  I feel a tiny bit guilty reading what others have wrote when I haven't written anything myself.  Isn't that funny, blog reading as a reward, and I know that not everyone who reads blogs have blogs but for myself, I feel like I have to contribute in order to benefit from the work of other people.  Just add it to my laundry list of "issues."  In the meantime, I have LOTS of catching up to do. 

Last time I checked in I was on my way for holiday in Washington state.  Like most things, my expectations far exceeded the reality of the situation and I cut the trip very short and did not do nearly any of the things I wanted to.  Part was to blame on illness, Amelia managed to come down with strep throat, and part was just unrealistic expectations on my part.  I thought it would be a mini-holiday for me, instead it was just me working harder to take care of my kids someplace else.  I'm sure many of you Mom's know how that is, sometimes it's just plain easier to stay at home.   And my relationships with my own mother was a bit strained, I'm not blaming, I'm just admitting to tension, so for my own self preservation, it was time to go when I did.  The bummer is I didn't have a chance to hook up with some of the folks I would have liked to meet...I guess it wasn't in the cards, maybe one day. 

So my life now, Tom left again on deployment about a month ago so I'm once again adjusting to his absence.  This in for a month gone for a number of months routine leaves a bit to be desired.  I realize even this shall pass but I just don't see it getting any easier. Thankfully, the kids are adjusting well, kudos to a busy summer camp and lots of trips to the pool. 

Quite a few other changes on the homefront that I will delve into during the next few weeks.  Some great, some not so great, some will be great.  I don't want to overload your poor little minds with too much excitement at once.  I'll also try to round up some actual crafting photos but in the meantime you will just have to deal with a picture of my kids. Take care all.

  

Adios and Ogee...

We are leaving on our trip tomorrow.  I'm feeling the slight on set of panic about last minute packing.  It's hard to pack for a month, trying to figure out what I'm going to need versus what I really want to bring versus what I should bring.  Normal questions like - kid's bikes vs. my sewing machine.  5 knitting projects vs. books and crafts. Food for the dog vs. more yarn.  Very tough questions indeed.  

In the meantime let me present to you -

Ogee Tunic from Knitting Nature

Needles and Yarn - Filtura di Crosa Zara on size 5 needles  

Modifications - I changed the shaping from a not so flattering on me a-line to more traditional "girly shaping."  I cast on based on the pattern schematics - size small to begin with which gave me 41 inches at the hemline, did waist shaping and then increased to the medium size to fit my bust line.  I should have probably cast on for the medium size but I didn't want it to flare out too much at the bottom, I could probably block another inch or 2 out of it.  I added 2 inches of length so it didn't look like a crop top. I was going for 3/4 inch sleeves which ended up being a bit longer, I kind of like them though.  All in all I like the pattern, I think the neckline is flattering for my body type. The set in sleeves were in a pain in the ass to seam but it wasn't too bad after it was all done. 

 

Adios for now and I'll check back in later this week. 

Smorgasbord of thank yous...

After all the amazing cards and get well gifts that Makenna has received over the past week, I'm pretty sure she is plotting her next injury.  I'm not sure what the etiquette is for get well presents so I figured I'd just do it the modern Internet way and say THANK YOU!!!!!  I've tried to send an e-mail to those we received gifts from but a couple addresses were lost. If you have not heard from me then I apologize and let me tell you that your thoughts were very much appreciated! 

She is doing remarkably well and is pretty much back to her normal stubborn self.  Although her shoulder is still technically broken, and will be for some time, it's apparently healing because she has nearly full range of motion and only seems to complain of pain when I tell her she needs to pick up her crap.   I wish they could bottle that, the healing power of young children, I get a bruise and it stays for weeks, she gets her whole shoulder smashed in and it gets better in days.  I'm just grateful that things turned out as well as they did, it could have been much worse and her speedy recovery has really helped me lose most of my mommy guilt.

I'm busy packing for our summer hiatus to Washington State.  We are leaving on Sunday for a road trip that will end with a month long stay with my parents.  Tom is deploying again through October and I don't feel like sitting around here for the entire time he is gone trying to find ways to keep the girls entertained without spending money.  I figured a nice long stay in the Pacific Northwest would clear some of the boredom. At the very least, I can spend some quality time with actual trees and greenness.  Packing is a bear though and I pretty much want to bring every crafting thing I own, including my sewing machines, my sewing stuff, and all my yarn.  We don't have too much room, with the 90 lb dog and the 2 kids, so I'll have to compromise.

On the knitting front my Ogee Tunic is about done and is just waiting to be sewn together.  It seems that seaming sucks. I actually used to like seaming, not so much anymore. I'm not sure why I just didn't knit the thing in the round. Granted, I do hate sewing set in sleeves so maybe I figured it would be easier to just do it flat.  I haven't tried it on but I think it will be a good fit!

Bags, bags, and more bags...

Let's talk about bags, fun fabric bags, but not the kind under my eyes.  The kind under my eyes are definitely not worth talking about, even though they are huge and black, and would probably put me on the cover of some gossip rag if I were famous.  The kind that no amount of cover-up would hide even if I choose to wear it.  I'm proud of my bags, they are my battle scars, proof that I'm human and a Mama.   

The other bags are a bit cuter and fortunately do not resemble gaping black holes.  The paint shop teacher at school asked if I could make some bags for her granddaughter, I agreed, once gain not realizing what I was really agreeing too. She went on holiday and came back with enough fabric to make 10 bags, I settled on three.  Luckily I was able to get these done before the disaster hit. I wasn't able to put on all the finishing touches but they look well enough for me.  She loves them and I'm sure her granddaughter will too and that is all that matters.

The first is a darling messenger bag, it's kid sized but should be ample enough to hold lots of goodies. It gave me a bit of grief, mainly because I wasn't using a pattern but now that I have it figured out - I would do the next one a bit differently - I could probably bust them out with a bit of speed. I love the bunnies, don't you!

The second is compliments of a pattern I saw on marthastewart.com.  A bit fussy, but it turned out cute.  I didn't have a model to show you how it is supposed to hang so I tried my best in the photograph. The long arm goes through the short arm and then you can just put your hand through the hoop. Once again, this one is in kid size, which is probably the reason why it was so fussy, but I will probably sew one for myself. It's technically reversible and has endless possibilities.

The last is my signature marker/crayon bag. Not much to say about this one, I used a new font for the embroidery, I was trying to go for the space age look. 

I'm happy to report that Makenna is doing much better then I expected. Her shoulder no longer looks like a cantaloupe, maybe a smallish orange and she is actually getting some color back. I managed to coerce a smile out her, bless her little heart. 

The horror....

Thanks for all your well wishes. It means so much to know that I have so many great blogging friends.  It really has been a stressful couple of days but I'm sure things will eventually start to get easier.  Many of you have inquired about the nature of the accident, I've decided to just post it here. If for no other reason then to just get it off my chest, I'm feeling very guilty over the entire thing and I probably just need to let it go. 

Maya, the 90 lb. dog was leashed to the front door with a long lead.  We had been going in and out and she has been known to run across the street to see the neighbor's dog so rather then take a chance of her getting hit, we just secured her to the house.  The dog and Makenna were both in the house, I told Makenna to open the front door to go outside. I knew the dog would probably run out but didn't think much of it since I knew she was secured to the door.  It didn't dawn on me that Makenna would get in front of the leash or be in the way.  She opened the door, the dog bolted - all 90 lbs of her - the leash came from behind Makenna and caught her in the back of the legs - she is 35 lbs - she flew into the air into a horizontal position, the dog got to the end of the lead and the door slammed shut onto Makenna's head and neck.  The door handle slammed into her shoulder and broker her collarbone clean through, in my opinion it probably saved her life.  Her neck would have snapped if it had taken the full blow.  It was the worst thing that I have ever seen in my life, I was 2 feet away and just couldn't get there in time. It happened in slow motion yet so fast all at once.

We spent a good part of yesterday with the orthopedic surgeon who specializes in children.  "Impressive break" is what he called it, he had never seen anything like that before, a break like hers, a person who does this for a living said that.  The bone is normally so pliable that it bends, he can't imagine the force that it took to make it break the way and in the location that it did.  On the plus side, no need for surgery, since they cannot cast that part of the arm, it should set fine on it's own.

I made her a sling last night to replace the ugly hospital one - I thought maybe some froggies would brighten her day.  It was the least I could do.  We had big plans in the next couple weeks that are not going to work out. I was supposed to be flying to NC tomorrow to see my girlfriend and have a couple days of much needed alone time. In 2 weeks we had made reservations to stay at a giant indoor waterpark in Washington State.  Her school recital is this coming Monday.  Plans change, I'm just thankful she will be ok. 

 

Good will...

I had a rough evening yesterday to say the least. Makenna, our 3 year old, was involved in a horrific accident with our 90 lb. dog that I would rather not go into (it wasn't the dog's "fault," it was an accident.)  Unfortunately, Makenna did not fare too well and spent the evening at the emergency room.  She managed to escape with a broken collarbone and some pretty significant bruising, it could have been worse - she could have been killed, but she is in serious pain.  I'm having a heart attack and am just plagued with guilt, I was 2 feet away and just couldn't get there in time. It was just horrible. 

I try not to ask for much but I thought I would go out on a limb and call on some of my internet friends to send her some well wishes.  I realize she is only 3 but she would love to get some cards in the mail or some small little doohickeys to show her that there are lots of people out there that care for her.   Amelia, our 5 year old, was also incredibly brave during this whole thing and I know she would love to get a card from a "friend."  So if you think you have some free time to write her a little note, e-mail me at  at olypen dot com and I'll send you our address.  Thanks so much.