I weighed myself this morning. I'm just absolutely disgusting. Or maybe I'm just disgusted with myself. I've put on so much weight over the last couple of years. It has just crept on insidiously and now it holds on for dear life. I initially blamed it on Makenna, due to complications breastfeeding was cut short, so I never lost that baby weight. I can't really blame the last 20 pounds on her though, so who can I blame it on? Genetics? Lack of self-discipline? Food today that is essentially void of nutrition but packed with calories and fat. I was commenting to my husband last night, for the forty first time, I'm heavier then I've ever been in my life but I enjoy food less then ever. Things seem to taste bland, I don't enjoy the purity of food that I did at one time, I just find myself mechanically packing it into my mouth and watching with horror as my backside expands. And my metabolism, don't even get me started on that. I can look at a chocolate bar and almost immediately begin to feel my pants tighten. I'm cursed with a slow metabolism...and hitting the 35 mark didn't help much either.
So I'm not sure what to do. I need to make a bigger commitment to my health, like many of us I'm certain. The funny thing is, that I eat pretty healthy, not too much processed food, lots of organic and whole foods. I'm the healthiest eater I know, but quantity over quality does have something to do with it. I'm really not caught up on the whole weight thing, but I can't afford to keep buying bigger clothes and it's not going to get much easier to get off later. I really do have the self discipline of a slug. I'd like to think on that more later but for now I don't think my much damaged ego can take it at the moment.
So I think I'm going to start a food journal and start really watching my calorie consumption before I start making any drastic kneejerk (and temporary) changes. Maybe I can find the hidden patterns that I didn't see before that would clue me into what is going on and then start working on my self control to change things slowly. When my husband was lamenting on this exact same topic a month ago, I told him to start writing down everything he ate because he was probably eating more then he thought he was. Maybe I should follow my own advice. So wish me luck on this journey of eating self exploration. And although I'd love to lose 40 pounds..I'd be happy with 20, heck I'd be happy with 10! I can't afford to start knitting bigger sweaters!
good luck. keeping a food journal has always been my most successful weight loss strategy. in fact, perhaps you and your husband can do it together, and shoe each other your journals everyday. that way, you both have someone besides yourself you are accountable to. i've found it keeps me more honest.
Posted by: Sara | December 26, 2008 at 11:20 AM
Keeping a food journal has been the most significant way that I've been able to see how and where the weight comes from. I've been keeping an on-line one that tracks calories and it really works to keep me from eating more then I should. Good luck in whatever you do. :)
Posted by: Ruinwen | December 29, 2008 at 04:49 AM
Hey pal, we all understand all too well! I agree that a food journal might be a good first step. I had really good results with Weight Watchers a few years ago, and part of the reason it worked was that I was writing down everything I ate. I was "sneaking" in little things here and there before, that I just as quickly forgot that I'd eaten.
Posted by: Karma | December 29, 2008 at 09:22 AM
Good luck with that. Try to cut out anything with sugar, it packs in the calories and really messes with your whole system, it causes a lot of health problems and hides in a lot of items. Start reading labels. And that's sugar in any form - white, brown, powdered, anything ending in "ose", honey, jam etc etc.
And eating less is key. I haven't been able to exercise the last year and a half so I've cut back on the amount I eat to keep my weight at the same level, which I have. I'm lucky, I can tell when I'm full and I will stop eating, but for others, that will take a lot of work.
Also, when I moved in with my boyfriend, I noticed that I'd serve myself (5'4") the same amount as him (6'4"!), and I was eating it too! So I made sure to scale back my portions. Apparently it's pretty common for women to gain 5 lbs a year for every year they're married for precisely this reason. If those 5 pounds aren't taken off, 5 years down the road and the woman has a lot more heft!
Also, if you're a comfort, stress, or boredom eater that will contribute. And if you're eating processed shite, that means that pure, natural, nice foods aren't going to taste as good because they don't contain the salt and sugar and fat that the packaged/canned/pre-prepped/frozen stuff does, so your taste buds get out of whack. I would suggest going only whole, natural foods if possible, and cooking and your tasting ability should come back. Perhaps cook a family dinner and use it for lunch/breakfast leftovers. This is good for people who feel busy and like they lack time to cook or put together many meals. No white bread! Make nice healthy sandwiches for lunch if kid-time makes it hard to put together lunch, no creepy processed "lunch meats."
And simple things, like walking to a few errands if possible, or parking the car at the end of the lot, instead of looking for the close parking space, and taking stairs instead of elevators - all those few steps really add up, if you can't add exercise to your daily routine right now. Make taking a walk with the kiddos a fun activity. Go to the park or beach(?)on the weekends and run around and chase the kids and take a frisbee or a soccer ball. Wash the car yourself instead of taking through an auto-wash. Stuff like that. Think about how to de-mechanize your life so that you use your body as a tool. It will help.
I love to exercise, but when I can't, the book French Women Don't Get Fat pretty much encompasses my philosophy, except that I'm cutting out sugar, because I'm way too addicted to it and I feel physically bad when I eat it.
Good luck! Let us know how it goes!
Posted by: the Lady | December 30, 2008 at 08:35 PM
So how is this going for you? I just had the same realization - and I did breastfeed my youngest for over a year, but breastfeeding never helped me lose the weight, and I was actually lighter after I him than now, after having a kid to take care of! I'd love to get an update.
Posted by: Elspeth | November 17, 2009 at 02:59 PM